Tag Archives: Trusting God

Photographs and Memories

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Photographs and memories.

It is an old song…but it is also a present reality.

I went to one of my childhood homes, my dad’s, for the last time several weeks ago…for the last time; cleaning out, gathering bits and snatches of things that evoked emotions of laughter and tears – papers, books, objects, pictures.

Photographs and memories.

This past weekend, I went to my mom’s home and did the same…for the last time; pulling out, sifting through, gasping at “treasures” long forgotten but which evoked many reminiscences. As I packed up and began to leave, I kept going back for “one last” look or item that meant something to me if to no one else.

Photographs and memories.

They take me back.

I am somewhat of the family “historian,” the keeper of the memories – the one who didn’t want to leave anything that was special to my mom or dad behind…even if it was a “silly little thing.” And, if I couldn’t get someone else to take it home, I did.

These “last times” have been bittersweet. The stories my siblings and I have shared, the “finds” we uncovered, the memories relived, the dividing up of one home to go to the many – just as each individual moved out from the larger family to begin new families so many years ago. We are extensions of our dad’s and mom’s stories and their story and, so, just as physical pieces of their lives are reminders of those stories, so we remember, and we live out our own lives, in many ways shaped by their own.

I admit, tears have fallen as I remembered both joy and sorrow, times of laughter and tears, and driving away from each one brought a finality that was, in the moment, a little unsettling. Even now, as I write this, the reality brings some tears welling up in my eyes.

But not without hope.

It sent me right where I needed to go…to my Father God’s throne of grace, straight back to the heart of the One who created me, knows me, and comforts as none other.

The “things” I brought back are history and part of my story, but I don’t “need” them to remember. I enjoy them, and I enjoy sharing the stories with my family…but I don’t “need” them to keep the memories alive.

Every memory is not sweet.

Every memory does not bring a smile.

Every object does not bring a good remembrance.

But every bit of my story, joy and sadness, is sifted through my Father’s hands, my Savior’s grace. And that grace, that careful sifting for His glory and my good is sweet, does bring a smile, is a good reminder of His faithfulness to those who are His, who are “called according to HIS purpose…to be confirmed to the image of His Son.” (Romans 8:28)

We can remember the sweetness with delight, and we can see how God has redeemed the harder moments.

We can smile at the tender times and the precious comforts. And, because we have been saved by faith in the mercy and grace of God and the fact that, for those who have been redeemed, He makes all things new, we can be thankful for the lessons learned and the redemptive way He has taken the hard places and used them to grow us; the way He has given us opportunities to point to Him, to use our stories to tell people about His forgiveness, redemption, and transformation of our souls and lives as we interact with others.

Life is messy because we live in a fallen world with fallen people…and each of us is one of them.

But THAT is the Gospel – we are, each one, sinners – rebels against the Almighty God, Maker of heaven and earth, and sovereign over all, wanting to do things our own way.

We are born and live out our lives – sometimes well and sometimes failing.

Our days are numbered and, as one has said, “100% of us will live, 100% of us will die, and 100% of us will stand before Him one day and spend eternity in heaven or hell. It is a reality which we all face.”

But, in real time and history, Jesus died on the cross to take the penalty for our sins, and He was resurrected from the dead defeating the power of death.

We don’t have to “do” anything but accept, by faith, that work on our behalf. And God Himself gives the faith to do that. We just have to say, “I believe, and I trust the work You did on the cross; I am Yours, Lord!” And, out of that love and thankfulness and, by the power of that same grace, learn to give up our desires, and let Him replace them with His desires, which are so much more satisfying; to joyfully say, “I am Yours, Lord; change me, use me, grow me!”

Because of His great mercy and the power of the Holy Spirit, we “once were” and are now being made more and more into the likeness of His Son, transformed and being transformed! As we submit to Him (a word towards which our culture turns a haughty shoulder), He changes what is not in line with His will in us, defeats the enemy of our soul’s attempt to accuse us, redeems the hard places, helps us forgive others as He has forgiven us so that we do not allow the emptiness of bitterness to rob us of the joy of moving forward and bringing Him glory!

We can remember the good and the bad, the sweetness and the sorrow with a peace that makes no sense to the world, because He is more than able to “work all things for the good to those who LOVE God, to those CALLED according to His purpose.” (again, Romans 8:28)

He redeems our stories.

He rescues and transforms us.

He makes all things new for our good and His glory.

Our photographs and memories may bring great delight or deep sadness. They may make us laugh uncontrollably or send tears streaming down our faces.

Some we need to remember and simply thank our Father for the sweetness of the memory.

Some we need to confront and take to the cross of Christ, maybe with another…then leave behind.

Some we need to allow God to use to encourage, challenge, or exhort another.

Each memory, a part of our story, and, in the Father’s hands, they have been and are being used.

Our response must always be to thank Him – for His grace, for His mercy, for His redemption.

I drove away from each house – praying for the next families that will occupy the places I once called home.  I’m asking the Lord to fill them with the love and grace I received but also that each person will know the love and grace of Christ.   

And, as I did, I thanked my Savior for making me His own, for giving me the parents He gave me, as one friend said, “flawed (like each of us) and fabulous,” for blessing me with the siblings I have with each other, for the relationships and friendships, some that were mine for a moment in time and others forged over a lifetime – each of which have shaped me, for the memories of joy and laughter not only in the past but the ones created over these weeks of the “clean out” process, and for growing that little girl into a woman whose life is hidden in Christ and whose story He is still writing.

Photographs and memories…may they always remind me of His goodness and grace.

Setting Our Hearts to Rest

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I want to wait on the Lord!

I want to be faithful!

I want to hear His voice and trust His hand!

I want to “not fear anything that is frightening.” (I Peter 3:6)

Sometimes the Lord allows circumstances into our lives that are uncomfortable at best, painful at worst. But they are not without purpose – even when we can’t see that purpose.

Being set upon an anvil, the heat is increased, and the re-shaping is painful, but it is good.

Growing physically can have discomfort, but it is good.

There is goodness in God allowing hard places into our lives regardless of the discomfort in various ways. Naturally, we don’t like it, but I don’t want to miss the moment; I don’t want to miss what He wants me to learn and how He wants me to grow.

We can trust the One who is Creator and Sustainer because, as CS Lewis so poignantly said of Aslan, a beautiful picture of Christ in his book The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, “He is not safe, but He is good!”

Yes, we are safe in His arms, but He is still the Almighty King of all even as He has mercy on His children; He reigns as Judge but remains our Father for those who have put their faith in Him.

We can be carried by Him, but we must never mistake that familiarity and that tenderness for a casual relationship. Were we to be in His presence, we would fall to our knees in the face of His glory!

And THAT is good!

We live in a time of history when our “plans” have been and are being, as the proverbial apple cart, “completely upset,” totally upended.

We find the news of each new day a little more unsettling regardless of our response to it.

And the ground beneath doesn’t just feel shaky, it is.

But, therein lies the importance of knowing the certainty of your foundation.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging…’Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’ (Psalm 46:1-3, 10)

If my confidence is built on my health…

If my security is based on what I own…

If my joy is dependent on my circumstances…

If my hope is built on my abilities and/or my job…

If my steadfastness is built on my plans…

I will eventually be moved; I will be shaken!

But, if “…my soul, finds rest in God; my hope comes from Him…” then “Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken…” (Psalm 62:5-6)

When what I see is unclear, when what I desire is either hindered, set back, or is no more, when the circumstances around me are unsure…I must choose to stand on what I know more than on what I feel.

I must choose faith in the God who doesn’t change.

I must choose trust in the One who has the ability to say to the seas, “This far and no farther!”

I must choose joy that comes from a knowledge of and settling in the truth of God’s Word and His character, His ability to settle any frustration or fear.

I must choose to say, ”The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to tread on the heights…” (Habakkuk 3:19)

I must choose to cling to the fact that life in this fallen world will not always “feel” good; in fact, it may feel quite the opposite. But God is in the midst of doing things in us and in our world we cannot see.

He is getting the world’s attention and our own. The world is unsettled, but He stands secure.

Will I rail against what He is trying to do in and through me? Or will I say, “Not my will but yours, Lord – use me!” and then respond to His answers.

Will I grow angry with the response whether I think it is too much or too little? Or will I be faithful in the little things, courageous and bold to speak life to those I encounter, “giving reason for the hope (in Christ) that I have…with gentleness” (I Peter 3:15) that is not dependent on my ease and my comfort, pointing them to the life-giving Gospel that sets eternity in motion both now and forever!

Will I give that word of comfort and a smile of hope to those I encounter whose very faces are etched with fear?

Will I humble myself before the Lord, asking Him to cleanse me, His child, of all unrighteousness, to show me my sin, and to ask Him to change me so that, as I seek His face, He might heal our land?

Will I pray not only for an end to difficult situations and how they affect me, but pray even more fervently for the Lord to bring glory to Himself, that He be exalted in all the earth?

Will I ask Him to soften hard hearts and give sight to blind eyes, even those long settled in a false sense of protection who are still trying to earn their way to Him, that they might see their need of the Savior and be redeemed by His work for us?

Will I, hand in hand, “serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling?” (Psalm 2:11)

And when I am too weary or saddened to choose well, will I call out to my Abba Father, my Jehovah Shalom, “Carry me! Be my peace! Give me the faith to trust when I can’t see, the strength to reset my stand!”

The world is in an odd place right now, one we have never known; everything we have counted on and set our security upon is being tossed. But our God is not caught unaware; our God is not shaken.

None of us are exempt from some measure of the “uncomfortable” in all of this.  But the Lord has called us to “carry one another’s burdens…” (Galatians 6:2), to “rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15)

The Lord never calls us to walk alone even when we have to “self-isolate.”  He is “near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth”  (Psalm 145:18) and He has given us “one another” whether it be in close proximity or through the gift of technology.  Let me walk this road with you; let me carry your burdens even if it is just for you to share the fears you have. I would count it a privilege to pray for you, to take you to our Father’s throne of grace, as you share your concerns with me.

My hope IS built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness, and so I can choose to “set my eyes on things above not on things below.” (Colossians 3:2)

And, as I do that in the power of the Holy Spirit who is able to supernaturally create that response in me, I will increase my trust and faith in the Lord and decrease my draw towards growing angry with or fearful of circumstances.

When I feel my heart start to tremble, I will ask the Lord to teach me to “be still and KNOW that He is God” and let His Spirit set my soul at rest.

Long ago, when we were facing some significant decisions, my husband and I were having a conversation about it in the car, our small children were in the backseat. Obviously, I was expressing some concerns and it was evident. Softly at first, then growing a little more intense, the clear little voice of my then three-year old daughter came from the back seat singing:

“I cast all my cares upon You;

I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet.

And, any time, I don’t know what to do,

I will cast all my cares upon You.”

Out of the mouth of babes, God reset my heart to trust Him for what I couldn’t see! He gave me a supernatural peace unexplainable in human terms.

I ask Him to do that again for me, for my family, for you in this moment and the next!

As we are in Christ, we can be assured; we can “set our hope fully on the grace to be given us at the revelation of Jesus Christ,” (I Peter 1:13) and we can rest, truly rest!

In His Joy and Peace,

Dawn

The Miracles We Often Miss

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We love to hear stories of unexplained physical healing which we know can only be the hand of God!

We love to hear accounts of relationships restored and brokenness healed by the power of the Holy Spirit.

We love to hear first-hand narratives of those who have waited long for someone – a child to conceive or adopt or the person to marry – and God orchestrating that in timing and ways we could never design so well.

We love to hear tales of an impending disaster that was averted or rescues for which there is no other explanation other than God intervening.

And, because God is at work, they happen all around us.

We rightly shout, “To God be the glory; He is the Author of that miracle!” Indeed, He is and He has been doing so across time! Those are the miracles in which we most often rejoice, and for which we are quick to sing His praise!

And there are the every day miracles in His created world: a baby formed in the womb, growing to take his or her first breath; the sunshine that warms our days and the moon that reflects that sun; the stars the twinkle and the rain that falls; the ocean breezes and the mountain snows; the air we breathe and beauty of His creation across the continents.

But sometimes (and maybe, more often than not), we miss the miracles we don’t call miracles at all. We fail to see or we make light of the inexplicable work He is doing in hearts when the physical healing doesn’t come, when the relationship is not restored, when the disaster is not averted; when faith replaces fear, and hope overshadows discouragement.

Over the short term and the long months and years, much can and does happen in the lives of those we love.  In our own circle, there have been some miraculous answers to prayer – yes, unexplained other than by the gracious hand of God whose will it has been to have His glory expressed through physical healing, children being added to our homes by birth and adoption, relationships restored, and lives redeemed by the living God through Christ! And we have given God praise and honor for all these things!

But, there are also other circumstances in which God is saying, “I am here, I see, I am at work…but wait!”

The journey is just beginning, and what He will do is not yet known. We believe Him for it, and we hope for it; but He is saying, “Wait for it!”

The journey has been long, and the battles wearying. We set our hope on Him, we watch, and we pray; but He is saying, “Wait for it!”

Perhaps the miracle is in learning to wait, learning to trust when we cannot see, learning to cry out through tears, “I can’t do this, Lord; carry me and make me able!” Even if we never get the answer for which we long.

And I have been reminded recently that sometimes, when those answers don’t come quickly, God hears our cries and allows us to ask “Why?” and “How long?” just as the Psalmist prayed in Psalm 13, not as a ill-tempered child, but as a weary warrior who truly wants to trust and who comes to our good, good Father with a sincere heart that says, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)  Or, “Even if you don’t answer as I want, again with the Psalmist I will say, ‘But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD…You are my God…Save me in Your lovingkindness.’” (Psalm 31)

I think of my sister’s dear friend and worship leader, Laura Story – her own hard but trust-instilling questions throughout her song, “What if Your blessings come through raindrops; what if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near? What if trials of this life are Your blessings in disguise?”

What if our trials, our hard places, our broken bodies and wounded hearts are opportunities for miracles in disguise? The miracle of God leading to a place of rest; the miracle of God working in us and through us, moment by moment, transforming our responses in spite of us and giving us strength not just for the long road ahead but for the next step, the next minute.

“His grace is sufficient” is not a platitude! It is a very real promise of God for those who are His redeemed children in Christ Jesus, for those who set their eyes on Him and stare at the Savior more than at their circumstances. “His power IS made perfect in weakness!” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

It is the sure hope of those who have said, “Not my will but yours, Lord,” who have not just acknowledged that He exists, but who have laid their very lives and pursuits at the cross and said, “I am Yours; deal with me according to your lovingkindness and teach me, use me, change me…”

I have seen and am seeing THOSE miracles!

One I love dearly has a body that has been broken by illness for many years, but her joy and her hope in Christ is palpable! He is doing miracles through her; He is changing and strengthening lives through her in spite of our pleas for Him to heal.

Does she long for wholeness? Of course, but does she hope in the Lord? She does!

Does she make it clear that her joy is because of Him, that her hope is not in the here and now but in eternity? She does.

Is her desire for God to be glorified, for believers to be strengthened, and unbelievers to come to a saving relationship with God through Jesus? It is!

We spoke of that just last week!

That is a miracle! That is God renewing her strength and her hope and her joy day by day regardless of what that day may hold; the miracle is Him giving it in the first place and “continuing the good work He began in her…carrying it to completion”* when I know she doesn’t “feel” like it at times!

Another I love deeply longs to add to their family, and we have prayed without ceasing. But, at this time, God has said, “Wait for it!” And, in that waiting and longing, they rejoice and trust the One who has called them to Himself and has shown Himself faithful. That is a miracle!

Watching and waiting with expectation and trusting when the longing is so great!

Others I love are facing medical issues – some that are likely to have an answer that will be just what we desire and others not – but the wait on doctors and diagnosis and treatments is a reality.

Could the miracle be in God giving each of them (and those of us who wait alongside them) the ability to persevere, pray with expectation, and respond in faith regardless of the answers?

Could the miracle be the growing to hunger more for the Lord and His return than what happens in our earthly bodies?

Could the miracle be in desiring more of our Savior as we watch and wait and long for His presence in the here and now?

I admit – I don’t wait well. I desire quick answers for them as I do when I am in these circumstances. But, it is often true, that God teaches and grows me so much more when He makes me wait…because my eyes can then be nowhere else but on my Savior rather than on me trying to “fix a problem or find a solution.”

I’ve seen God work in my own heart, as I weep deeply for people and situations in my life and theirs, but He is constantly reminding me that weeping does not have to give way to worry.  We can walk with the Comforter even if our steps are slow and plodding.

He is teaching me to “take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5) when my thoughts want to run ahead of my Savior and as the lie of fear wants to overtake my heart and mind. He is reminding me over again that I can and must pray “in expectation” (Psalm 5) because He hears, He is faithful, and His ways are not my ways – they are good even when they don’t “feel” good!

I’ve watched bitter hearts soften to forgive even when a deep hurt is not acknowledged or a broken relationship isn’t restored. And I’ve seen the sweetness of a heart resting in Jesus, despite it.

Could the miracle be in resting even while we wrestle with our unmet desires and expectations?

Could the miracle be looking back and recognizing what God has done in us over the years as we have learned to pray more intentionally and to watch and wait, not perfectly, but more faithfully?

Could the miracle be that we have learned to forgive, in spite of deep wounds, and as we have humbly become more transparent and more ready to allow Him to chip away at our own self-wills so we could see Him doing a work of grace, first in us, as only He could do?

Could the miracle be that we have seen Him take what looked like a terrible situation that seemed to be unredeemable and work in us and in others, rescuing and restoring what was lost or damaged or making us still faithful if not?

Could the miracle be in experiencing peace where there is no peace, hope when circumstances don’t warrant it?

Could the miracle be in Him working in us so that we can, “Be still and know that He is God!” (Psalm 46:10)

Those are actions of the Holy in Spirit as He teaches and equips His children to say, “Do in your servant what you will…to You be the glory!” One step at a time.

We want physical and emotional healing; He wants redeemed souls!

“…which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’?” Matthew 9:5

We want restored relationships with one another; He wants those but, even more, He wants us to have a relationship with Him.

“…our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession…” (Titus 2:14)

We want trouble-free lives; He wants us to lean on, trust, and see Him.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

We want quick solutions; He wants to train us to persevere in the long haul to grow us and teach us to hope in Him (though growing is oft times painful).

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:1-5)

Maybe our response – our real pain that is marked by real tears and frustration but that is woven into, even overshadowed, by our real faith in God Himself – is what brings God glory, is what will make people seek Him and see Him!

We can answer, “I don’t know why, and it hurts! Yet will I trust Him! Yet will I put my hope in Him!”

The miracle of God in our deepest fears, our greatest trials, our scariest diagnosis, our most broken of relationships, everything that is evidence of a world tainted by sin but that is not the final reality…is that we have hope in the God who spoke this world into existence and in the Son who is coming to reign again.

The miracle is that we can weep for a moment, but that joy comes in the morning. We can long for the coming day when this world, that is but a shadow of what is to come, is in the past and the wholeness, which we who are redeemed through and submitted to Christ anticipate, is realized in that day!

The miracle is that God carries us when we can’t fathom another step, that His Spirit comforts us when our tears flow hot and heavy, and that He emboldens us to stand on His true, unchanging Word in the face of an enemy who wants to defeat us with fear.

The miracle defined is that He became Emmanuel, God with us, to redeem us from ourselves and make us His own.

We can know Him. We can love Him. We can anticipate with certainty an eternity with Him. We can rest in our Living Hope.

Don’t miss the miracles!

Don’t miss the greatest miracle!

“Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.” (Psalm 27:14)

“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 1:3-8)

“From where will my help come? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.”    Psalm 121:1-2

*Philippians 1:6

“Fear Not,” Said Daddy

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The day was clear and the sun was shining; all seemed perfect for a family outing at the amusement park! To me, there was no better place in all the world to just enjoy being seven years old.

We quickly got our tickets and, with me way ahead of my brothers, sisters, and parents, we entered my “perfect world.” I ran first to the bumper cars, then the airplanes, the water flume, the mine train – all the rides that were just my size. For one with so much enthusiasm for adventure, it was almost overload!

After about an hour, my dad led me to what he said would be the “most fun of all.” As I stared up at the monstrous creature before me, tears filled my eyes! My “perfect world” no longer seemed so perfect and my enthusiasm all but vanished.

“Come on, honey,” Daddy shouted, “You’ll love it!”

“I can’t, Daddy!” I cried, “It’s too big, too fast! I’m just a little girl!”

“You can do this…But I’ll let you make that choice; wait for us here while we go,” he said as they all ran excitedly up the ramp and towards the enormous roller coaster.

I sat on the bench with my head in my hands as I fought back hot tears, not only because I was having to wait alone and I wanted to not be afraid but also because I knew how disappointed my daddy would be in his little girl. He knew my love for trying new things so I’m sure he was surprised when I stood resolute. I’m also sure his heart broke a little when he saw my tears falling.

But my daddy knew this moment in time was bigger than what loomed before me; he knew it was an opportunity to teach and to train. And it was the way he raised us – seize those teachable moments wherever they arose.

So, when they all got off and were getting in line again, he tried once more to convince me. “You don’t have to be afraid; I’ll be right there beside you.” But I stayed firmly planted on the bench while everyone else ran back around for the second time with smiles and laughter.

As Daddy got in line for the third time, he felt a tug at his shirt.   Looking down, he saw me staring up at him with a cautious smile.

“I’ll go, Daddy, if you’ll sit beside me.” I barely got the words out when it was time to board the ride.

Eyes closed tightly, hands gripping the safety bar, I snuggled close to him as the ride started off with a jolt. We were sent soaring, higher and faster. Slowly my eyes opened a little at a time.  It was terrifying but so much fun.

This little girl who loved adventure, climbing, and proving she could do what the big kids could do and love it, was in her element. But first I had to face my fear.

Too soon it came to an end and we had to get off. I ran to the end of the line and, with great boldness, declared, “If you don’t mind, Daddy, I think I’ll ride alone this time!”

And sitting in the very first car all by myself, eyes wide open, and with a great big grin on my face, I was off on the first of many wild roller coaster rides without my daddy.

In fact, it was just the beginning of a lifetime of “facing my fears,” one of those life lessons my dad brought home to my heart over and over again.

Most of my life, if I said I was too unsure or afraid to do something, his immediate response would be, “Then you need to do it!” And when I would tell him of an experience where I had to put that encouragement into action, I could see his smile and hear his joy through his words, “That a girl!”

In the moments when he was there at bedtime and we would be making up stories and talking about the day, in the opportunities when we would be driving in the car on a quick errand or a long trip, he would remind me that we face our fears – every time – because we don’t want fear to cast a shadow over our lives, we don’t want to miss opportunities, and we can know that, because we are His, God is with us, bigger than our fears.  He would remind me that I could face the impossible because God is bigger than the impossible. He would remind me that the scary things of life can be and should be faced knowing God can be trusted to walk with us and give us the courage to do or to endure.

The roller coaster was one of the first of many “face your fears” moments in my life. But it wasn’t the biggest nor the last.

Sometimes I have risen to the occasion and sometimes my fear has caused me to “stay firmly planted on the bench.” And always, I heard and still hear my daddy’s voice, “You can do this…I’ll be right here beside you.” And, while I know my dad has not actually always been right beside me in each of those moments, I have known his encouragement and have always known that my Abba Father, God who is my tender heavenly Daddy, Faithful and True, is indeed right here with me.

I hear the voice of my Heavenly Father say, “Fear not…”

I’m thankful that my dad began to instill this truth of God in my heart that day and, as I grew, he brought it back to Who gave him the courage to face his fears – though it was sometimes hard to imagine that the man who pushed the limits on adrenaline pumping experiences and new challenges had any fear. His confidence began with the One who walks us through adventures and valleys, thrills, and incredibly stifling places; strong, healthy bodies and those broken and racked with evidence of the curse.

And, I’m thankful that, though I lived far away in my adult years, in some of his last days of his last month here on earth before he stepped into eternity where, for those redeemed by the work of Christ on the cross and His resurrection, fear is extinguished forever; before the God he loved and proclaimed, I was able to spend time by his side.

And I had the privilege and joy of speaking that truth to him, his once strong body and sound mind now frail, “You’ve told me all my life and I’m going to remind you now, Daddy: You don’t have to be afraid. I’m right here for now, holding your hand. But, most of all, Jesus is right here with you walking you through it all. Our God has told us, ‘Fear not…’ Hold on to and keep your eyes on Him!”

He looked at me through tired but still twinkling eyes, with that winsome, crooked smile that was uniquely my Dad’s and whispered, “It’s good to know I was heard; I guess I’m getting it back now and hearing my own words.”

Thank you for giving it in the first place, Daddy. Thank you for pushing me to step out beyond my fears as a little girl and also as a young woman, and, in the frightening moments not to look at the circumstances. Thank you for teaching and reminding me to look at Jesus – to give thanks and to give up trembling.

You have no fear any longer, Daddy; I’ll see you when God calls me home and, in that moment and in the meantime, I’ll remember not to fear.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand!” Isaiah 41:10

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you…when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned…for I am the Lord your God…do not be afraid, for I am with you.” Isaiah 43

“…do what is right and do not fear anything that is frightening.” I Peter 3:6

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“You can grieve for me the week before I die, if I’m scared and hurting, but when I gasp that last fleeting breath and my immortal soul flees to heaven, I’m going to be jumping over fire hydrants down the golden streets, and my biggest concern, if I have any will be my wife back here grieving. When I die, I will be identified with Christ’s exaltation. But right now, I’m identified with His affliction.” RC Sproul

Until then Daddy…Dawnie

1998 Dad and Me

Even When We Cannot See

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“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

There are days when to be “Be still and know that HE is God!” (Psalm 46:10) is so easy.

In those times, my heart and my head agree with each other, and I almost dance with joy in experiencing both what I know and what I feel in tandem.

Certainly, I experience it when there is much to be celebrated. To lift my hands to the One from Whom all blessings flow is easy and immediate.

There are other times when what I “know” about our very good God, what I “feel,” and how I respond clash loudly! In those times, I, for all intents and purposes, choose not to be still. I don’t always ask “why” well and, I have to admit, my “why” is more like the rant of a petulant child.

But, to be in the midst of turmoil of my own or another that I love or to watch the world turn upside down in a variety of ways and yet to “be still” is not a reflection of my own strength. Rather, it is a supernatural gift of a gracious God who, in the middle of my pleading, of laying my heart bare before the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, lifts my eyes and my heart to see Him instead of the moment. He holds and steadies this child, tenderly, even when He chooses not to calm the storm. And, in those times, He is also in the process of refining my heart.

We often have a desired outcome, an expectation for our circumstances, a way we believe is best and right.  At times, it may deal with the externals, the “haves or have nots” to which God sometimes says, “There is a way that seems right to man but in the end it leads to death.” (Proverbs 14:12).  Yet, when it comes to physical illnesses, most would not argue that our requests are reasonable.  But, God’s ways, that sometimes “seem” difficult or mistaken to us, are always for a greater purpose and are intent on leading to “life that is truly life” (I Timothy 6:19) because they are grounded in the firm foundation of His loving sovereignty that knows the end from the beginning and sees what we cannot. And, even when it doesn’t “feel” good, we can “know” it is.

All too often, I (and I think it is safe to say, “we”) “feel” – regardless of what we “know” – that for God to show His love, He must answer our requests exactly as we ask, fulfill our every desire, especially if they are “good” desires. Or, if He doesn’t, that He will immediately provide an explanation for us to see what He’s doing, not just with eyes of faith but with our physical eyes!

But it is not always the way of our Father.

He says, “Trust me” even if it hurts.

He says, “Trust me” even if it makes no sense.

He says, “Trust me” and let me do “exceedingly and abundantly more” – not only more than we can think or ask but also more than what we can perceive with our eyes.

What the Israelites could “see” was a vast army heading in their direction to bring destruction. And yet, Moses told them to “be still” and watch God fight for them!  What? They had a clear view of the immediate danger, but they could not “see” what God had in store, how He would protect and defend them. Even so, indeed, as He did time and again, He delivered them.

The same is true for His children today; He calls us to “be still” and watch Him fight for us; even if His deliverance is, at times, hard. He calls us, often a forgetful people, to remember His faithfulness in the past so we will stand on that same promise of faithfulness in the present.

“God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them…Not only may you see a tiny fraction of what God is doing in your life; the part you do see may make no sense to you.” (John Piper)

My husband and I talked recently about the situations so many of those we love are facing, and he reminded me to think of Joseph, sold as a slave by his brothers yet, in time, raised to a place of prominence to be an avenue of provision and protection. Could he “see” the faithfulness of God in that moment when he was taken away? Did he “feel” the love of God in that instant? Or did he cry out with an honest groan, “Why Lord?”

And, yet, as we are given a view into his life, we are able to observe his faithful obedience to God. We watch his trust in the One he knew to be the sovereign Lover of his soul. We witness God honor that one who learned to “be still” and watch the Lord fight for him. And, through His Word across generations, we now get to see many of the “whys” to God’s ways; that He allowed Joseph’s hardships so he might be in a place “for such a time.” God was doing “good” long before the “good” could be seen!

“But you will not leave in haste or go in flight; for the LORD will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” Isaiah 52:12

Knowing that the Lord Himself is going before us and behind us is not a small thing nor is it a fanciful hope; it is the reality for those who are redeemed children of God, loved deeply by the One who doesn’t always give His demanding children or even His truly heartbroken children just what we desire but always gives what will ultimately be for our good and a glory to Himself!

And when what He gives is painful, He walks through the fire with us, He holds us close, and He says, “Be still and know (hold onto, remember, and experience) that I AM God.”

This side of heaven, we will not always do that well. But, by His grace, may we be found faithful, clinging, even through deep tears, to the One who is our trust and learning to be “still” more with each day!

Even when we cannot see!

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Excerpt from “Even If” by Mercy Me   (Music and lyrics so often draw my heart in…as do these.  So thankful my son shared this song with me some weeks (now, years) ago)!

 It’s easy to sing

When there’s nothing to bring me down

But what will I say

When I’m held to the flame

Like I am right now

 I know You’re able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand.

But even if You don’t.

My hope is You alone.

 …God, when You choose

To leave mountains unmovable

Give me the strength to be able to sing

It is well with my soul. 

I know You’re able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone.

I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt

Would all go away if You’d just say the word

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone.

 You’ve been faithful, You’ve been good

All my days.

Jesus, I will cling to You

Come what may.

‘Cause I know You’re able

I know You can.

I know You’re able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone

I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt

Would all go away if You’d just say the word

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone It is well with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul.

 

A Life Well Penned

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Life.

It is a story in the making.

How and by whom our story is written makes all the difference in the world.

Often, we believe we can write our own, unhindered by the counsel of others or the wisdom of God.  That is always to our detriment.

Or, as we compose our narrative, the intersection of lives causes our own to be edited; at times for the better and for our joy, at other times, to our loss, and, sometimes, both.  But our hearts are always shaped by those with whom we share the page during our lifetime.

For the follower of Christ, we know it is God who is the “Author and Perfecter of our faith,” but also the Author and Perfecter of our stories.  For some the ‘plot’ is more erratic as He seeks to woo and restore scratches on the page.  In other cases, it may be more direct with less editing necessary; but always, each one, in need of the Redeemer.

One thing we who are in Christ can be sure of is that, even if there are edits to our pages that come our way unexpectedly, they never take our Father by surprise.  And He intricately weaves the joy and the pain together, sometimes restoring what has been lost and sometimes gently prying our fingers from it, for a beautiful tapestry.  It is an illustration of exquisiteness, from disorder to delight.

It is as if the scribbles of a child on a page become elaborate calligraphy – extravagant beauty and clarity to our hearts – as He causes “all things to work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28) regardless of the outcome. It is the promise for those who are His own.

As God writes our stories, there are times He does so in ways we pause to wonder why the “plot” would take this turn. But, because He is our all knowing, all loving God, we know He is working in us and preparing us for the rest of the chapters. Some surprises are comfortable; some are not. But every “word” comes from the palm of His hand; that same palm that demonstrated the greatest love, sacrificial as it was. And He will weave every circumstance for His glory and for a greater joy and good in our lives than we can even anticipate!

I love lyrics to music; they often verbalize my life story or my response to it.  Several songs draw me back to the reality of God’s ultimate, perfect control even when my life or the lives of those I love are seemingly not being written the way I would have authored them.

“The God of Every Story” by Laura Story is one of those.  He is, indeed, the God of every one of our stories and can be trusted to complete the good work He began in each of His children (Philippians 1:6).

Ultimately, I know that whether or not I always “love” the way my book is being completed, I am thankful that the One who knows me best and has already seen the end of my novel is the One who is preparing my current chapters and the ones ahead of me!

He’s the God of every story; He sees each tear that falls. 

We may not understand but one thing is certain. 

He is faithful, He’s a faithful God.

His ways are higher than we could ever comprehend.

When our world is shaking, He holds us in the palm of His hand…

You’re the God of every story no matter what I’m going through.

I may not understand, but You are God and I am just a man…

I’m forever trusting in Your plan. 

One thing is certain;

You are faithful, You’re faithful God!

(Laura Story)

Snow Day…All Things New

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I went to bed with little expectation of seeing much of the “white stuff” when I woke up the next morning, a dusting perhaps.

God gave me a stunning surprise – the view out my window in the pre-sunrise moments looked promising. But when the morning began to shed its light on my yard and neighborhood, what I saw was total beauty!

Now for those of you to whom snow is a chore or to whom a foot or more is a daily or even a seasonal occurrence, you would laugh at what ended up being an inch and a half to two; but for those of us who rarely see snow in a winter, I was giddy; for I am always in wonder of its beauty.

And yes, I love a good snowball fight, a little snow cream, and my feeble attempts at making a snowman. But so many other things also flooded my mind yesterday as I saw what had transformed my yard over night and then as more blew in, heavy yet softly, quietly spreading a comforting layer on our barren ground.

Winter had taken its toll on our land and the day before yesterday it was looking rather bleak, brown and muddy with a patch of bright green where we have a garden of lettuce. But as I stood and watched the transformation, I was struck by the newness, the fresh reality that filled my sight.

It was the same piece of land – nothing had been done except that with which our awesome God, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, had chosen to delight us. He had gloriously crafted each snowflake and let them blow over the cold, grey day after ten days straight of frigid rain that threatened to tamp down the mood of many I came across…including my own.

It was His hand that created the freshness and led to a lifting of the heart! Though it was short lived, the moment was not lost on me, and it did much to renew our spirits. It was temporary joy that brought with it eternal perspective.

At times, we can view our lives through the same lens. Either we get caught up in the daily-ness of it all and become tyrannized by the urgent so that we miss and/or forget the truly important. Or we grow weary because of circumstances – our own choices or that of others, any number of “hard things” that come with living in a fallen world.  

But God is not unaware.

Our fears can weigh us down as we focus on the “what ifs” instead of looking to and embracing the God who is I AM and who holds all the “what ifs” in His hands; He Who knows the final outcome has promised to never leave or forsake us. We can begin to see life in the greys instead of the rich hues hidden beneath the mundane, the sorrow, or the fear.

Throughout the Bible, God reminds us that He has made and is in the process of making all things new! We can look on situations in our lives and in the world and culture around us and grow discouraged, even fearful of the dismal prospects at times.

As we look through a glass darkly, we often miss the wonder of Revelation 21:5-6: “He who was seated on the throne said, ‘Behold, I am making all things new.’ Also he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.’” HE is faithful and true!

It is a fact; it is a promise! He who is able to “wash me (so that) I am whiter than snow!” (Psalm 51:7) is able to bring a fresh perspective, a richer view of circumstances, yes. But He is also in the process of actually making me more like Himself and of doing astounding things we cannot see.

Just as the snow fell quiet in the night and transformed my little piece of the world into a place of wonder that lasted for less than a day, our God is actively working to do the remarkable but with an eternal exclamation point!

Habakkuk 1:5 says, “Look at the nations and watch–and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.”

Though this was written hundreds of years ago to a different people, God has not changed and He is still powerfully and lovingly at work in a world crawling with terrible situations! We don’t have to doubt that or wring our hands in fear.

We work, yes. We act, indeed. We do all that He calls us to do, and then we rest in Him and in the plan He is unfolding regardless of what is before our eyes.

Our winter yard is again brown and muddy for the sun returned and quickly melted away the snow. But my heart holds to the visual picture of truth that God gave me yesterday in the midst of our brief winter precipitation that will be indelibly marked upon my heart and that will be brought to mind as I view the pictures again and again.

That truth is more significant and far more eternal than a fleeting snowfall – that the everlasting God of the universe has, through the work of Jesus Christ, made me “whiter than snow” through the forgiveness of my sin and is continuing to change me for His glory; that this same God is the Lord over all aspects of my life as well as that of nations and rulers.

I am given opportunities every day for fresh beginnings and a greater awareness of His love and power to make all things new! 

Praying for eyes to see those opportunities and a heart to seek what He is up to my corner of the world and beyond!

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“I Believe; Help My Unbelief”

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There have been and still are times in my life when I have had no doubt of God’s goodness and His control, but when, at the same time, my “feelings” wrestle with the truth on which I stand.

It is that paradox of Him being so very good and yet there being evil, injustice, and pain in this world – sometimes of our own making, sometimes stemming from the actions of others, sometimes the result of a world broken by the Fall.

Thankfully, I am reminded in Jeremiah 17:9 that those feelings are from a deceitful heart and I can never trust them above the heart of the One who created me and who knows my needs and desires even better than I know them myself.

Indeed, I must never trust my “feelings” over what God’s Word says is true!

Unquestionably, I cannot always see the goodness of my God in the moment as He will not be put in a box nor neatly tidy up every situation in my specified time frame. For that, I give thanks because, if I could bind the God of the universe and understand every action He takes or allows, He would not be a God worthy of my all; He would be finite like me.  As it is, He is not limited and He is more than worthy of my surrender.

And, yet, this infinite God is also so personal and loves His children so deeply that, while He calls for our obedience and our submission, He also understands our frailties and tenderly comforts us in those moments of life that create fear, feel stifling, or that leave us unsteady. But He is not angered by honest questions that come from a yielded heart.

In Mark 7, when the father of the ill son asked Jesus to heal him, he said, “I believe; help my unbelief.” How faithful was that! He was acknowledging that He believed Jesus was able but also admitting his own deceitful heart that was found lacking. He meekly laid out his wavering spirit before Jesus and boldly made his request.

It is the way I am continually learning to pray.  While I have no doubt about who my God is and what He who created me and redeemed me is able to do, I sometimes hesitate to be bold.  I wonder if He will desire and be willing to do that which I bring before Him and, if He chooses not, whether I will humbly submit to an answer I would rather not receive.

And so I ask, believing yet confessing my unbelief, and I finish with “…but, Lord, if you have better in mind for me and mine, help me to be faithful in the waiting and in the answer.”

Sometimes the situation changes, but I know that, ultimately, the best answer is when He changes my heart before He changes my circumstances.

God loves the fervent and heartfelt cries of a humble heart bent towards Him. Our surrender becomes the open door for Him to surprise us with joy!

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Not for A Moment by Meredith Andrews

You were reaching through the storm
Walking on the water
Even when I could not see
In the middle of it all
When I thought You were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me
Not for a moment did You forsake me

Chorus:

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

You were singing in the dark
Whispering Your promise
Even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
Carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me

Chorus:

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

And every step every breath you are there
Every tear every cry every prayer
In my heart at my worst
When my world falls down
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Even in the dark
Even when it’s hard
You will never leave me
After all

Chorus:

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me