Grief Roads

The lights on the tree glisten, mirroring the tears that make their way into our eyes.

The winds that blow and the raindrops that fall add to the heaviness of heart.

Love experienced well leaves a longing that is felt when that one has been called home.

Changes of any kind are hard, but there is that one change where even small steps seem thunderous and will always be felt.

And with each remembrance, each “next step,” each seasonal event, daily occurrence, or experience, another hard move forward. Unavoidable but not comfortable by any means.

That is when to have those who weep with you and ache alongside you, who don’t hurry you along but will follow your lead in walking the road, who will take you to the throne of grace whether you ask for it or not is more needed than one realizes in the moment.

Yes, loss and change are different.

It may be the loss of someone you love,

An unexpected change of circumstances,

Children growing up and starting their own lives so special events necessarily change.

There are various levels of grief –

From the deep and gutteral cries that come amidst loss of life

To the inevitable changes of life.

Grief is a reality this side of heaven.

We want to run from it, ignore it, forge a way around it.

In any way possible, we want to avoid it.

We know Jesus said that “in this life, you will have trouble.” (John 16:33)

It is one of my least favorite and most favorite things Jesus said because, while it declares a hard reality, alongside that reality it pronounces a precious promise.

The sting may remain, but our sure Hope is a balm on which to lay our head.

“Take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33b)

He promises His presence in the midst of the hard, and God keeps every promise!

Surely, I am with you always even to the end of the age!” (Matthew 28:20)

Jesus doesn’t pick us up and run around the edges of grief, keeping us from experiencing it.

Indeed, He does carry us as He tenderly wraps us and presses in and through it and sometimes that grief is too much to bear; definitely too much to bear alone.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched. Nor will the flame burn you. For I am the LORD your God…” Isaiah 43:2-3

And the LORD often uses people to be His hands and feet, to fill needs, give comfort, walk alongside or sit still beside us and just let us speak or be silent.

But, in those quiet moments or the moments when memories flood our senses, when the hurt is real and the crushing weight of longing is heavy, He still says, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

He still says that He will “carry His lambs close to His heart.” (Isaiah 42:11)8

It is a reality that brings both comfort and a sigh.

And those who love others wrapped in loss feel the weight with them and for them.

In the midst of Christmas, there were several times that very specific people came to my mind and the weight of their grief brought and still brings tears to my eyes as I take them to the throne of grace where God promises to bring His peace.

We may not “feel” the emotion of peace but His presence remains and He tenderly gives us joy through tears.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15)

Christmas and other key events can bring joy, and they can be a searing reminder, a whisper and a cry, “Jesus!”

And He is near.

The New Year can be a new start and a place where we cry out, “Hold me my tender Father! It hurts.”

And He hears.

Holy Spirit alone can bring comfort, and He alone can cause one to “turn [their] eyes upon Jesus.”

I’ve said it before: Christmas is glorious, and Christmas is hard.

That is the reality.

The greater reality is that Emmanuel has come, not just to save us from the penalty and power of our sin – for that is amazing and remarkable in itself, that God would come down in the flesh to bridge that gap between Himself and His created ones, His children – but He also came to be our tender Savior, our long expected Messiah, the longing of our souls and the Comforter when there is no comfort in this world.

Silent night, holy night!

Hark the Hearld Angels sing; glory to the newborn King!

Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled!

Joyful news of Hope to the weary, to the hurting, to those longing for another time, to those grieving deeper still!

I love you and am asking the God of all comforts – our God, our Savior – to be your peace, to carry you when you don’t have the strength for another step, when the emotions you experience clash with the Truth that you know…even the dot.

I’m asking Him to allow you to experience the reality of His presence and a supernatural peace and sweetness in this season and in these days.

I’m asking Him to give you a settled joy even through tears, to have moments of joy even in the memories and the longing.

May He also give you His rest in the quiet and still.

“You will fill me with joy in Your presence.” (Acts 2:28)

Let it be so!

“Born to seek and born to save
Born to take our pain away
God with us, Emmanuel
In His arms, all will be well


In your silent night
When you’re not alright
Lift your eyes and behold Him
Feel the thrill of hope
You are not alone
In this moment, behold Him
King forevermore
Come let us adore
Christ our Savior, behold Him
Feel the thrill of hope
We are not alone
In this moment, behold Him
In each moment, behold Him!”

“Behold Him” Francesca Batistelli

* photo #1 credits: Ivy Koval

Worthy

You have redeemed and are redeeming!

You have healed and are healing!

You have worked and are working!

You alone are worthy to be praised!

You alone are worthy to be feared!

You alone or worthy to be honored and glorified!

You alone are worthy to be followed and served!

You alone are worthy to have my all!

You alone are worthy for me to rest!

You alone or worthy for me to trust!

Whatever I see.

Whatever I feel.

I trust in Who I know!

You are worthy!

“You have been our dwelling place (our shelter), Lord, in every generation!” (Psalm 90:1)

“I will take joy in the God of my salvation!” (Habakkuk 3:18)

Plod On Faithfully

A TRAIL HEADER IMG_2155Some days are ordinary.

Some days are mountain tops.

And some are just hard.

It’s the stuff of which life is made.

And, in the Lord’s hands, it is good…whether we feel like dancing through the day, simply putting one foot in front of the other, or just sitting down before pressing on.

We are called to move forward, and there is joy in recognizing that His mercies are new every morning. It is our call as those redeemed by Christ to run our race with perseverance; but not just any race, “the race marked out for us.” (Hebrews 12:1-2)

My life, my walk with Christ, my place in this world and the people in it will not be like any one else’s though it may resemble another’s, as the call of each redeemed child of God always includes seeking Him in His Word and growing in His grace. 

God has made me and each of us, in His image, yes, but uniquely individuals; walking in this world together yet our circumstances are just what He intends for each of us for such a time as this.

And, He who has “marked out” a race for each one will not leave those He calls His own to run it alone but will prepare us for the journey, come alongside, even carry us at times, and use it all for His glory and our transformation!

A couple of months ago, we were in Colorado and decided to do what we thought would be a semi-short, fairly laid back afternoon hike in the mountains around the perimeter of the town close to where we were camping.

It began relatively easy and, early on, I found myself running up some parts of the path, exhilarated by the beauty, even the steady climb, and eager for the adventure.

Rather quickly, however, we realized it was not all going to be a smooth, well-defined path with little elevation change. There would be places where the ascent was grueling, the path beneath us rocky and at the same time, slippery, and the markings not so clear. The corridor would get narrow and the edges steep. We would grow thirsty, having not brought as much water as we should have.A TRAIL IMG_2086

It was soon evident that we would come to more than one crossroad where we had to decide whether we would persevere and finish the course or take a short cut and miss completing the much anticipated afternoon of exploring that we had undertaken.

There was actually no way either of us would consider cutting it short; even if, when we grew weary from the varying conditions of the trail and the heat, we had to plod from time to time.

That was part of the beauty and adventure.

In the end, it was closer to nine miles and the temps soared in the lower elevations; it was not particularly long but more rigorous than we anticipated.

Still, had we chosen the “easier” way, we would have missed the green pathways where we stopped to watch a young doe, close enough to touch, moving unafraid under the trees.

We would have lost the opportunity to look out over the highest point of the trail at 8,557 feet, to watch a hawk catch the wind, sailing across a chasm, and to view the various peaks and valleys that declared the glory of God simply by their presence. A TRAIL IMG_2158

We would have failed to come across both the rushing waters and steady flow of different waterfalls and a cool mountain lake that alerted all our senses!

Encounters with a man who shared his unique story and a mom and dad with eager teenagers who joined us along the way for a time would have been missed.

The sheer joy of the journey and finishing what we had begun and endured would have been wasted as well!

It was not just the experiences from the hike that we remember and in which we have satisfaction but in finishing well; what it did “in” us and what it taught us about ourselves and, more importantly, about God and our relationship with Him.

It was also a reminder that we need each other in this journey as we regularly encouraged each other to press on and not give up.

The paradox was that we were so tired yet so refreshed!

And isn’t that part of what perseverance does in us?

“Let perseverance finish its work (in us), so we will grow, lacking nothing in Christ.” (James 1:4)

Perseverance isn’t dependent on the circumstances in which I live and breathe but upon whom I rest and find my ultimate satisfaction.

And God Himself calls His people to be, as Pastor Joseph Wheat has said, “faithful plodders.”

We are not called to be stoic in the face of sorrow, slap on a fake smile when our hearts are breaking, nor be arrogant in our demands that God answer every prayer in our timing and according to “our will.”

He knows our sorrows, allows us to weep, brings others to share our tears, and holds us in the darkest nights.

He allows us to ask questions but to ask them in humility and seeking actual truth. Then He calls us to trust Him for the answers even when we can’t see and our hearts don’t understand.

He knows we live in an easily shaken world that defies Him and that can so easily distract us from a determined walk with Christ that is distinctively different and provides a firm foundation as it is grounded in His Word of Truth.

He knows we are continually faced with things and people that seek to rival our affection.

He understands that the enemy of our souls tempts us to satisfy our hunger and cover our shame, hurts, and loneliness with substances, experiences, and the noise of mindless activities rather than learning to be still, seeking that redemption, healing, and satisfaction in the only One that is not a temporary fix but a lasting transformation, and spending time with others who find joy in desiring the same so we are mutually encouraged to stay the course.

He knows we need the steadfast exhortation of one another so we “may not be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13) nor overwhelmed by the sheer exhaustion of living in a world that seeks to call good, evil and evil, good.

And so, out of His great love and tenderness, He appeals to us not to neglect meeting together. Rather, as we spend time with other believers, we give one another confidence.

“…to press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of (us)… forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead…” (Philippians 3:12-14)

Though my “hard” may be different than others, my temptations may not mirror another’s, and my places of rest might not look like yours – every redeemed child of God is called to that same perseverance because each of us is called to fix our eyes on the same endpoint – Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith.

We aren’t given a view of what is ahead or even just around the next corner.

God doesn’t call us to plow ahead, full speed, beating out every other runner nor hold back in fear.

Instead, He equips us for and calls us to an unwavering…

Endurance.

     Steadfastness.

          Diligence.

In order to run the race with perseverance without burning out, to be able to “mutually encourage,” and to be a “faithful plodder” who knows that our help comes from “…the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1), we must first learn to “Be still and know that (He is) I AM, God!” (46:10)

In fact, we have Jesus’ example to follow.

Even He, God in the flesh, had to get away from the crowd!

Spending time with others is a good thing, but getting away, talking to and hearing our Father’s voice without allowing the “fear of missing out” to consume us; feeding on and savoring His Word as though our lives depend on it – because they do – is life-giving.

Resting in our Abba Father, who stands ready to strengthen and equip, and who often just holds us when we are weary with the race, saddened by circumstances, or when temptation increases, allowing us to take that next step.

As we grow in our understanding of what is needed for faithful perseverance, our longing should be for more of His presence and His Word for which Jesus commended Mary.

While Martha ran around meeting needs, a good thing, Jesus said that Mary had chosen what was better and it would never be taken away: she was refreshed in His presence as she sat at the feet of Jesus and learned from Him.

At times, we may need to ask Him to restore that longing, but it is in those times when the hunger for His Word wanes, we must run even more intentionally to that Word, the Bible, and into the arms of the One who is able to restore the joy of our salvation and our very souls!

The weariness and sadness of the battles can rob us of rest, but God alone can refresh us in the journey.

The enemy may whisper, “Does He hear you?”

And we can declare with confidence, “When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears…” (Psalm 34:17) and “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ…” (I Peter 1:3)

The “lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (none of which comes from the Father) but from the world” (I John 2:16) will distract us from keeping “our eyes fixed on Jesus” so we must also be deliberate about guarding that which has been entrusted to us; turning from “godless chatter and opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge” (I Timothy 6:20) that explodes all around us but is nothing more than the Deceiver whispering across the ages, “Did God really say?”

The more we idly engage the world, its ideas, and its systems in direct opposition to and defiance of the very character of God, instead of “renewing our minds” (by His Word) (Romans 12:2), “taking every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5), and answering accordingly, the more we will soon realize we are no longer just “in the world” but “conformed to it.” (Romans 12:2)

In that conformity, the less we will persevere, the less faithful we will plod, the more we will turn our gaze from the Savior and soon find ourselves “sitting in the seat of mockers” (Psalm 1).

There is nothing that robs us of joy more.

It is God’s mercy that the Bible warns us through the life of Demas, who was, at one time, in ministry with Paul as a faithful “fellow worker” in the gospel, but who, not being watchful, became “in love with this present world” and deserted Paul. (2 Timothy 4:10)

He quit running the race.

It is God’s grace and power, that gives us “everything we need for life and godliness, through our knowledge of Him who called us…” (2 Peter 1:3), that calls us to be diligent and devoted to His Word and sound teaching (I Timothy 4:13-15), that pursues us and infuses us with joy then beckons us to use every opportunity to encourage each other to the same.

There is joy in this journey on which God has called us – this life lived for Him. But there are times we won’t “feel” it and will, instead, have to choose it.

It isn’t an emotion or a reaction as a result of a circumstance; it is an abiding rest in knowing who we are and whose we are.

It is leaning into the One who has not only marked the race for us but runs it with us, infusing us with the very breath we need.A TRAIL IMG_2239

As we set our hope on Him, God will renew our strength that, at times, will falter, so that we will “soar on wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

By the work of His transforming grace, don’t give up, flee to Christ and what is before us, that very race He has marked out for you and me!

Flee to redemption and His purposes for us rather than to the very things that are killing us spiritually!

Don’t miss the joy!

Look up and see Him who is doing a “new thing” we can’t perceive!

Look up and see Him who is faithful!

Plod on redeemed followers of Christ and finish your race!

But plod faithfully, purposefully, deliberately, intentionally bringing others along with you!

“He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.” (Philippians 1:6) 

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of evil one.” Ephesians 6:10-11 

“I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You.” Psalm 119:11 

“Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them…” I Timothy 4:16

Plodding along with you,

Dawn

Even When We Cannot See

MissouriArkansas barn at sunsetSEPIA

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

There are days when to be “Be still and know that HE is God!” (Psalm 46:10) is so easy.

In those times, my heart and my head agree with each other, and I almost dance with joy in experiencing both what I know and what I feel in tandem.

Certainly, I experience it when there is much to be celebrated. To lift my hands to the One from Whom all blessings flow is easy and immediate.

There are other times when what I “know” about our very good God, what I “feel,” and how I respond clash loudly! In those times, I, for all intents and purposes, choose not to be still. I don’t always ask “why” well and, I have to admit, my “why” is more like the rant of a petulant child.

But, to be in the midst of turmoil of my own or another that I love or to watch the world turn upside down in a variety of ways and yet to “be still” is not a reflection of my own strength. Rather, it is a supernatural gift of a gracious God who, in the middle of my pleading, of laying my heart bare before the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, lifts my eyes and my heart to see Him instead of the moment.

He holds and steadies this child, tenderly, even when He chooses not to calm the storm. And, in those times, He is also in the process of refining my heart.

We often have a desired outcome, an expectation for our circumstances, a way we believe is best and right.  At times, it may deal with the externals, the “haves or have nots” to which God sometimes says, “There is a way that seems right to man but in the end it leads to death.” (Proverbs 14:12).  

Yet, when it comes to physical illnesses, most would not argue that our requests are unreasonable.  But God’s ways, that sometimes “seem” difficult or mistaken to us, are always for a greater purpose and are intent on leading to “life that is truly life” (I Timothy 6:19) because they are grounded in the firm foundation of His loving sovereignty that knows the end from the beginning and sees what we cannot. And, even when it doesn’t “feel” good, we can “know” it ultimately is.

All too often, I (and I think it is safe to say, “we”) “feel” – regardless of what we “know” – that for God to show His love, He must answer our requests exactly as we ask, fulfill our every desire, especially if they are “good” desires. Or, if He doesn’t, that He will immediately provide an explanation for us to see what He’s doing, not just with eyes of faith but with our physical eyes!

But it is not always the way of our Father.

He says, “Trust me” even if it hurts.

He says, “Trust me” even if it makes no sense.

He says, “Trust me” and let me do “exceedingly and abundantly more” – not only more than we can think or ask but also more than what we can perceive with our eyes.

What the Israelites could “see” was a vast army heading in their direction to bring destruction. And yet, Moses told them to “be still” and watch God fight for them!  

What?

They had a clear view of the immediate danger, but they could not “see” what God had in store, how He would protect and defend them.

Even so, indeed, as He did time and again, He delivered them.

The same is true for His children today; He calls us to “be still” and watch Him fight for us; even if His deliverance is, at times, hard, even shattering. 

He calls us, often a forgetful people, to remember His faithfulness in the past so we will stand on that same promise of faithfulness in the present.

“God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them…Not only may you see a tiny fraction of what God is doing in your life; the part you do see may make no sense to you.” (John Piper)

My husband and I talked recently about the situations so many of those we love are facing, and he reminded me to think of Joseph, sold as a slave by his brothers yet, in time, raised to a place of prominence to be an avenue of provision and protection.

Could he “see” the faithfulness of God in that moment when he was taken away?

Did he “feel” the love of God in that instant?

Or did he cry out with an honest groan, “Why Lord?”

And, yet, as we are given a view into his life, we are able to observe his faithful obedience to God. We watch his trust in the One he knew to be the sovereign LORD and Lover of his soul. We witness God honor that one who learned to “be still” and watch the Lord fight for him.

And, through His Word across generations, we now get to see many of the “whys” to God’s ways; that He allowed Joseph’s hardships so he might be in a place “for such a time.” God was doing “good” long before the “good” could be seen!

“But you will not leave in haste or go in flight; for the LORD will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” Isaiah 52:12

Knowing that the Lord Himself is going before us and behind us is not a small thing nor is it a fanciful hope; it is the reality for those who are redeemed children of God, loved deeply by the One who doesn’t always give His demanding children or even His truly heartbroken children just what we desire but always gives what will ultimately be a glory to Himself and somehow for our good.

And when what He gives is painful, He walks through the fire with us, He holds us close, and He says, “Be still and know (hold onto, remember, and experience) that I AM God.” (Psalm 46:10)

This side of heaven, we will not always do that well. But, by His grace, may we be found faithful, clinging, even through deep tears, to the One who is our trust and learning to be “still” more with each day!

Even when we cannot see!

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Excerpt from “Even If” by Mercy Me   (Music and lyrics so often draw my heart in…as do these.  So thankful my son shared this song with me some weeks (now, years) ago)!

 It’s easy to sing

When there’s nothing to bring me down

But what will I say

When I’m held to the flame

Like I am right now

 I know You’re able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand.

But even if You don’t.

My hope is You alone.

God, when You choose

To leave mountains unmovable

Give me the strength to be able to sing

It is well with my soul. 

I know You’re able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone.

I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt

Would all go away if You’d just say the word

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone.

 You’ve been faithful, You’ve been good

All my days.

Jesus, I will cling to You

Come what may.

‘Cause I know You’re able

I know You can.

I know You’re able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone

I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt

Would all go away if You’d just say the word

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone It is well with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul.

 

Joy in the Everyday

Image

We celebrated in June…for a lot of reasons!  Many birthdays and not just a few weddings!  And with the celebrations have come so much joy and laughter.

With the birthdays, it wasn’t necessarily in the gifts given and received; though I loved giving and they loved receiving.  Rather, it was the anticipation, the memories recalled, the new memories made of time together enjoying one another, and the recollection of God’s faithfulness in the past year and looking forward to His faithfulness, regardless of circumstances, in the year ahead.

And we celebrated many marriages with dear friends lately who were brought together with the ones they have now covenanted and pledged to live out their lives!  These were times of reunion, laughter, tears, rejoicing, and, again, the focus on the faithfulness of God leading to the moment and the promise of His faithfulness in the days ahead.

Happiness, how we long for it! 

Delight, how we yearn for it! 

The various “delights” of life invade our many thoughts and energies and those given, ordained, and blessed by the hand of our Creator are very good.

Recent days have been some of those “big moments” of life; some might even call them defining moments, and the happiness is palpable!

But, oh the joy when we find our delight, not just in the big moments of life but in the every day, the ordinary. 

How precious when we find wonder in the here and now even as we may await another big event!  

How freeing to bask in the pleasure of God’s everyday graces!

Ann Kiemel’s words come to mind when I think about celebrating the ordinary days which make up life as we know it, and she has long energized me to think in the same way:

“And every day my mom would say, ‘Don’t you kids know, that life is made up of ordinary days when there is no one to pat you on the back? 

When there is no one to praise you?  

When there is no one to honor you? 

When there is no one to see how brave and noble you are? 

Almost all of life is made of these ordinary days.

And it is how you live your ordinary days that determines whether or not you have big moments.

Get out there and make something of your ordinary days.’” 

 I pray I never miss what God is doing and what He wants me to do with my ordinary days!

“And I know you’ve made the lame to walk
And caused the blind to see
But what You do with my everyday is amazing!”

Everyday Miracles – Sara Groves