The lights on the tree glisten, mirroring the tears that make their way into our eyes.

The winds that blow and the raindrops that fall add to the heaviness of heart.

Love experienced well leaves a longing that is felt when that one has been called home.

Changes of any kind are hard, but there is that one change where even small steps seem thunderous and will always be felt.

And with each remembrance, each “next step,” each seasonal event, daily occurrence, or experience, another hard move forward. Unavoidable but not comfortable by any means.

That is when to have those who weep with you and ache alongside you, who don’t hurry you along but will follow your lead in walking the road, who will take you to the throne of grace whether you ask for it or not is more needed than one realizes in the moment.

Yes, loss and change are different.

It may be the loss of someone you love,

An unexpected change of circumstances,

Children growing up and starting their own lives so special events necessarily change.

There are various levels of grief –

From the deep and gutteral cries that come amidst loss of life

To the inevitable changes of life.

Grief is a reality this side of heaven.

We want to run from it, ignore it, forge a way around it.

In any way possible, we want to avoid it.

We know Jesus said that “in this life, you will have trouble.” (John 16:33)

It is one of my least favorite and most favorite things Jesus said because, while it declares a hard reality, alongside that reality it pronounces a precious promise.

The sting may remain, but our sure Hope is a balm on which to lay our head.

“Take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33b)

He promises His presence in the midst of the hard, and God keeps every promise!

“Surely, I am with you always even to the end of the age!” (Matthew 28:20)

Jesus doesn’t pick us up and run around the edges of grief, keeping us from experiencing it.

Indeed, He does carry us as He tenderly wraps us and presses in and through it and sometimes that grief is too much to bear; definitely too much to bear alone.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched. Nor will the flame burn you. For I am the LORD your God…” Isaiah 43:2-3

And the LORD often uses people to be His hands and feet, to fill needs, give comfort, walk alongside or sit still beside us and just let us speak or be silent.

But, in those quiet moments or the moments when memories flood our senses, when the hurt is real and the crushing weight of longing is heavy, He still says, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

He still says that He will “carry His lambs close to His heart.” (Isaiah 42:11)8

It is a reality that brings both comfort and a sigh.

And those who love others wrapped in loss feel the weight with them and for them.

In the midst of Christmas, there were several times that very specific people came to my mind and the weight of their grief brought and still brings tears to my eyes as I take them to the throne of grace where God promises to bring His peace.

We may not “feel” the emotion of peace but His presence remains and He tenderly gives us joy through tears.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15)

Christmas and other key events can bring joy, and they can be a searing reminder, a whisper and a cry, “Jesus!”

And He is near.

The New Year can be a new start and a place where we cry out, “Hold me my tender Father! It hurts.”

And He hears.

Holy Spirit alone can bring comfort, and He alone can cause one to “turn [their] eyes upon Jesus.”

I’ve said it before: Christmas is glorious, and Christmas is hard.

That is the reality.

The greater reality is that Emmanuel has come, not just to save us from the penalty and power of our sin – for that is amazing and remarkable in itself, that God would come down in the flesh to bridge that gap between Himself and His created ones, His children – but He also came to be our tender Savior, our long expected Messiah, the longing of our souls and the Comforter when there is no comfort in this world.

Silent night, holy night!

Hark the Hearld Angels sing; glory to the newborn King!

Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled!

Joyful news of Hope to the weary, to the hurting, to those longing for another time, to those grieving deeper still!

I love you and am asking the God of all comforts – our God, our Savior – to be your peace, to carry you when you don’t have the strength for another step, when the emotions you experience clash with the Truth that you know…even the dot.

I’m asking Him to allow you to experience the reality of His presence and a supernatural peace and sweetness in this season and in these days.

I’m asking Him to give you a settled joy even through tears, to have moments of joy even in the memories and the longing.

May He also give you His rest in the quiet and still.

“You will fill me with joy in Your presence.” (Acts 2:28)

Let it be so!

“Born to seek and born to save
Born to take our pain away
God with us, Emmanuel
In His arms, all will be well

In your silent night
When you’re not alright
Lift your eyes and behold Him
Feel the thrill of hope
You are not alone
In this moment, behold Him
King forevermore
Come let us adore
Christ our Savior, behold Him
Feel the thrill of hope
We are not alone
In this moment, behold Him
In each moment, behold Him!”

“Behold Him” Francesca Batistelli

* photo #1 credits: Ivy Koval