Category Archives: Thankfulness

And As the Tree Stands…

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We are halfway through January and my Christmas tree still stands.

There are those that will not understand…but it’s part tradition (my mom always kept ours up until the Super Bowl…when the Super Bowl was in January), but it’s also still so welcoming!

I love a live tree and, thankfully, the needles have remained fresh long beyond what I ever anticipated, a hint of pine still lingers in the air, and it still brings me joy to see it in its place.

For the most part, the ornaments are off, each one full of some memory of people, places, or events. Whether handmade or store bought, each one tells a story and is part of our story or of our children’s stories.

When I bring them down each year, I think about those times gone by and smiles trace my face. Even if some bring a hint of sadness because the person is no longer with us, I can’t help but also feel delight as I truly thank the Lord for each one and all of that and those which have made up my life from the beginning to now!

The lights remain, hung loosely in and through the branches, so another smile.

In the evenings, when the lights in the living room are low and the fireplace is crackling (or not), I sometimes just enjoy looking and remembering – not just about the years gone by but what was happening around this tree just a few short weeks ago when there was, at one time eight people, a dog and two cats (the animals tagged along with one of my sons and family), lots of laughter, squeals, sights, smells, and quiet (and not so quiet) conversations…and yes some little ones’ tears at times.

There were games and art projects, music and imagination, and the sweet aroma from requested food favorites to satisfy the taste buds of every person that entered our home!

And, best of all, the Golden Gift box – still under the tree – revealed the truth of the season to the littles specifically but as an intentional reminder to us all.

Outside, even in the cold, there were walks to explore the neighborhood, digging in the dirt, chase and tag, throwing balls, interacting with our neighbors, riding bikes, and sliding on slides…mostly without argument or conflict.

But, in the quiet and still now, I treasure those memories of just fifteen days ago even as I enjoy a little more sleep!

It was, as I declared in the moment, beautiful chaos, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way!

For all the noise and a few toddler conflicts, the puppy that found the lake too appealing and ended up in it for a swim then up through the mud, the endless array of dirty dishes and lots and lots of cooking, it was family!

It was time!

It was as I hoped it would be!

Together!

Though spread out between three states now, everyone was here at some point and at one point all at once (except for one daughter in love), at least for 24 hours.

And it was beautiful!

I won’t forget!

So, as I look at the lights on the tree, twinkling as they might be – I see beauty!

I see the faces!

I think of the twinkling of the littles’ eyes, and it reflects back on my heart.

But it’s not just the memory of the people and the places that delights me.

When I see the tree and the empty spaces naturally spread throughout, I am reminded that our lives are like that tree and those branches, each one providing its own unique beauty and strength.

Among other things, those empty spaces remind me of those no longer with us or those who couldn’t be with us to celebrate in the same place.

They cause me to thank the Lord for those I love, both during this season of life and in other seasons of life as well.

Those empty spaces do bring some tears when I think of ones we love that the Lord has called home, even so recently. But it also reminds me to thank Him for the privilege and blessing of having those people in our lives – family and friends whose loss is felt so deeply – and yet, for those dear ones in Christ, they were most assuredly worshipping and celebrating before the very throne of God this Christmas in ways we can only imagine!

But the tree is also a reminder of truth – full and still full of life, still nourished by the water as we are nourished by the Living Water of the Word of God.

The lights remind me that Jesus is the light of the world!  Even in the dim light, the darkness is shattered.

“Again, Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life.’” (John 8:12)

The busyness of Christmas can cause that truth to be overshadowed, but it remains, and the lights, for me, are a constant reminder.

In Him, darkness cannot remain!

We celebrate His birth but remember that He was born as the fulfillment of a promise, the promise of God, born for a purpose: to redeem, to bring light to the darkness of our souls created by our sin and to defeat that darkness once and for all and in the daily surrender to the One who is bringing light into our dark places to heal and transform our lives!

He was born to take the punishment we deserve for our rebellion against God, and His resurrection defeated death.

Because of Jesus, my sin no longer separates me from the Father, and I can live in newness of life in light of this sure hope.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” (Hebrews 6:19)

He covers the “holes” and wounds of my life as well so I can stand secure and rest in His faithfulness.

The lights remind me that there is a wonder in walking with Jesus, in recognizing His hand in all of creation and every circumstance of my life, in acknowledging Him as loving Father and Almighty King!

This tree won’t be up too much longer but, while it is, I will enjoy the wonder!

While it is, I will remember to give thanks for all I do not deserve – “for His indescribable gift” of salvation (2 Corinthians 9:15) and for the people throughout my life who have brought me great joy and shaped me in a multitude of ways.

While it is, I will remember to pray for those who still grieve deeply – experiencing fresh waves of grief over the season and beyond but also fresh waves of mercy – His goodness experienced in the here and now, tears and smiles mingled.

And when it is gone and the living room is again returned to its normal “space,” I will remember!

I will not forget!

I will be still, knowing it is God Himself who has placed all those in my life that have created the quiet moments and the beautiful chaos…

And I will smile!

It is Well

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God is good.

But loss is a reality.

Pain is real.

Hurt is real.

Wounds are real.

While God does cause “all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28), He does not call everything good.

Death is not good.

Sin is not good.

Self-rule is not good.

He created us for life, not death.

He created us to walk with Him unhindered, not to stumble in darkness.

He created us to love Him and righteousness, not to be self-serving and love our sin.

But, while death and sin are a part of our lives, God Himself redeems even through tears.

God carries us.

God provides for us.

God holds us when the tears won’t come or when they won’t stop.

And, in time, God heals us though memories be bittersweet, and scars be reminders of the pain but also His restoration.

He calls us to joy; not a fake smile and a self-determined choice to appear “happy.”

He calls us to joy that rests in Him, even when we don’t “feel” it.

He calls us to come to Him, cry out to Him, and settle in Him because of who He is.

He calls us to “give thanks” not because a circumstance is good but because He is.

In the pain, in the numbness of reality, He is there.

In the “one step in front of the other,“ He is carrying.

In the deep shadows of night, He hears our weeping and holds us.

In it all, God is good!

In it all, He is our Living Hope.

He is our Living Hope in the darkness of death.

He is our Living Hope in the midst of the unknown.

He is our Living Hope in the betrayal of friends.

He is our Living Hope in the aching of a daily experience that cuts deep.

“Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (I Thessalonians 5:18)

We may not want that reality.

We may not understand it; I know that many times I don’t.

We may ask why.

Then we choose to praise Him, to give Him thanks even as we are honest about every single one of those statements, those emotions, those even sometimes guttural cries.

We choose to give thanks even while telling the Lord we don’t feel thankful in the moment, but we want to trust Him.

We choose to give thanks for who He is, not necessarily for the place we find ourselves.

He created us to love deeply and, with that, there can be great pain this side of heaven.

He created us with emotions that can be exhilarating and exhausting.

He created us for Himself and draws us near when we feel so far away and alone, so unable to take the next step without trembling.

We seek to reset our gaze moment by moment not because we find our place comfortable or desirable but because He is worthy and it is only in His presence that His children find true rest.

I pray, even as I write, that those who read this, whether in the midst of a deep valley or at the peak of emotional happiness, will run to the One who created you and loves you deeply, who is not afraid of your tears or your honest questions, but who is worthy of our worship and praise in the midst of the lives He has given us and will lead as we ask him to even if not where we desire to go.

He will comfort in ways we cannot fathom.

He sent His Son, Jesus, to give us life, not death.

He sent His Son to forgive and redeem us from our sin, from our self-rule and fears that threaten to undo us.

He sent His Son that He might transform our hearts, giving us a firm foundation on which to stand, a gentle heart in which to rest, and a deeper view of the One who created us and called His children by name.

He sent His Son that we might live in praise of Him and give thanks to Him in the greatest joys and the deepest sorrows!

Recently, I heard a new song from Perimeter Worship for the first time at the memorial for a dear family member, and it is on replay in my head and heart. May it encourage you, even through tears, to know and take shelter in the God who is good even when circumstances aren’t.

“I will rejoice when the night is long.

I will rejoice when the morning dawns.

In every change, my hope remains the same,

The Lord is my strength and my song!”…

From the mountains sing, ‘Alleluia!’”

From the valley sing, “It is well!”

For our God is King and His reign goes on

The Lord is my strength and my song!

It is well! It is well with my soul!”

“The Lord is My Strength and My Song” written by Laura Story, Matthew Papa, Jonathan Wisdom

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  According to His great mercy He has caused us to be born again into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.” I Peter 1:3-5

Photographs and Memories

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Photographs and memories.

It is an old song…but it is also a present reality.

I went to one of my childhood homes, my dad’s, for the last time several weeks ago…for the last time; cleaning out, gathering bits and snatches of things that evoked emotions of laughter and tears – papers, books, objects, pictures.

Photographs and memories.

This past weekend, I went to my mom’s home and did the same…for the last time; pulling out, sifting through, gasping at “treasures” long forgotten but which evoked many reminiscences. As I packed up and began to leave, I kept going back for “one last” look or item that meant something to me if to no one else.

Photographs and memories.

They take me back.

I am somewhat of the family “historian,” the keeper of the memories – the one who didn’t want to leave anything that was special to my mom or dad behind…even if it was a “silly little thing.” And, if I couldn’t get someone else to take it home, I did.

These “last times” have been bittersweet. The stories my siblings and I have shared, the “finds” we uncovered, the memories relived, the dividing up of one home to go to the many – just as each individual moved out from the larger family to begin new families so many years ago. We are extensions of our dad’s and mom’s stories and their story and, so, just as physical pieces of their lives are reminders of those stories, so we remember, and we live out our own lives, in many ways shaped by their own.

I admit, tears have fallen as I remembered both joy and sorrow, times of laughter and tears, and driving away from each one brought a finality that was, in the moment, a little unsettling. Even now, as I write this, the reality brings some tears welling up in my eyes.

But not without hope.

It sent me right where I needed to go…to my Father God’s throne of grace, straight back to the heart of the One who created me, knows me, and comforts as none other.

The “things” I brought back are history and part of my story, but I don’t “need” them to remember. I enjoy them, and I enjoy sharing the stories with my family…but I don’t “need” them to keep the memories alive.

Every memory is not sweet.

Every memory does not bring a smile.

Every object does not bring a good remembrance.

But every bit of my story, joy and sadness, is sifted through my Father’s hands, my Savior’s grace. And that grace, that careful sifting for His glory and my good is sweet, does bring a smile, is a good reminder of His faithfulness to those who are His, who are “called according to HIS purpose…to be confirmed to the image of His Son.” (Romans 8:28)

We can remember the sweetness with delight, and we can see how God has redeemed the harder moments.

We can smile at the tender times and the precious comforts. And, because we have been saved by faith in the mercy and grace of God and the fact that, for those who have been redeemed, He makes all things new, we can be thankful for the lessons learned and the redemptive way He has taken the hard places and used them to grow us; the way He has given us opportunities to point to Him, to use our stories to tell people about His forgiveness, redemption, and transformation of our souls and lives as we interact with others.

Life is messy because we live in a fallen world with fallen people…and each of us is one of them.

But THAT is the Gospel – we are, each one, sinners – rebels against the Almighty God, Maker of heaven and earth, and sovereign over all, wanting to do things our own way.

We are born and live out our lives – sometimes well and sometimes failing.

Our days are numbered and, as one has said, “100% of us will live, 100% of us will die, and 100% of us will stand before Him one day and spend eternity in heaven or hell. It is a reality which we all face.”

But, in real time and history, Jesus died on the cross to take the penalty for our sins, and He was resurrected from the dead defeating the power of death.

We don’t have to “do” anything but accept, by faith, that work on our behalf. And God Himself gives the faith to do that. We just have to say, “I believe, and I trust the work You did on the cross; I am Yours, Lord!” And, out of that love and thankfulness and, by the power of that same grace, learn to give up our desires, and let Him replace them with His desires, which are so much more satisfying; to joyfully say, “I am Yours, Lord; change me, use me, grow me!”

Because of His great mercy and the power of the Holy Spirit, we “once were” and are now being made more and more into the likeness of His Son, transformed and being transformed! As we submit to Him (a word towards which our culture turns a haughty shoulder), He changes what is not in line with His will in us, defeats the enemy of our soul’s attempt to accuse us, redeems the hard places, helps us forgive others as He has forgiven us so that we do not allow the emptiness of bitterness to rob us of the joy of moving forward and bringing Him glory!

We can remember the good and the bad, the sweetness and the sorrow with a peace that makes no sense to the world, because He is more than able to “work all things for the good to those who LOVE God, to those CALLED according to His purpose.” (again, Romans 8:28)

He redeems our stories.

He rescues and transforms us.

He makes all things new for our good and His glory.

Our photographs and memories may bring great delight or deep sadness. They may make us laugh uncontrollably or send tears streaming down our faces.

Some we need to remember and simply thank our Father for the sweetness of the memory.

Some we need to confront and take to the cross of Christ, maybe with another…then leave behind.

Some we need to allow God to use to encourage, challenge, or exhort another.

Each memory, a part of our story, and, in the Father’s hands, they have been and are being used.

Our response must always be to thank Him – for His grace, for His mercy, for His redemption.

I drove away from each house – praying for the next families that will occupy the places I once called home.  I’m asking the Lord to fill them with the love and grace I received but also that each person will know the love and grace of Christ.   

And, as I did, I thanked my Savior for making me His own, for giving me the parents He gave me, as one friend said, “flawed (like each of us) and fabulous,” for blessing me with the siblings I have with each other, for the relationships and friendships, some that were mine for a moment in time and others forged over a lifetime – each of which have shaped me, for the memories of joy and laughter not only in the past but the ones created over these weeks of the “clean out” process, and for growing that little girl into a woman whose life is hidden in Christ and whose story He is still writing.

Photographs and memories…may they always remind me of His goodness and grace.

With New Eyes…Thankfulness

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Have you ever looked at a place you have passed by for so long; then, the very next time you happen upon it, it takes on a new look, even a wonder?  You see things about it you never have noticed before.

What about a favorite place? Each time you return, you may see another angle, another view; your enjoyment of it grows with time or another layer of sweet memories are added one on top of another.

Thankfulness is often like that. It will look different at various times and how we view people, places, circumstances, and situations will determine how we respond, perceive, and engage with each; how we allow it all to inform our hearts and mind…and our actions.

Something familiar that we have grown “used to” can become a new thing of beauty, a new place of delight, another reminder to give thanks to God in the ordinary as well as the extraordinary.

A place or person of wonder and joy can take on even greater pleasure when we stop looking for “the new” and don’t just take it or them for granted. If we stop and intentionally express our gratitude to the One who has created all and ordered our world as well as that which He has placed in it, we can begin to see with His eyes and experience a new gladness.

A harsh place with difficult memories or a present reality that wearies our souls can find a soft place to land when we ask God to show us ways to give thanks to Him then do it when He does!

Finding ways to thank God can begin a journey that refocuses our hearts, changes the way we pray, and sets our “hope fully on the grace to be brought to (us) when Jesus Christ is revealed…” (1 Peter 1:13). (That is future and present reality)!  It redirects our gaze from the disillusionment of our past or present circumstances or from our fickle emotions and deceitful hearts to our ever-faithful redeeming God who is “with us,” Emmanuel, transforming and making all things new; who holds us when we are shaking and carries us when we cannot take another step. It causes us to stand on His Word that never shifts with the shadows or changes with the times or circumstances rather than leaning on the faulty opinions based on the waves of culture that break on the sands of time.

We can find peace in a thankful heart.

Thankful in great joy and in the center of great suffering.

Thankful when a hope deferred is realized and when waiting.

Thankful when our long-awaited plans and goals have come to fruition and when those desires are no longer obtainable.

Thankful when doors are open and when doors are closed.

Thankful when choosing to forgive and when forgiven.

Thankful as we labor and as we rest.

Thankful for lessons learned, continuing to “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18) in the midst of life as we know it and when we are still seeking to know what we are to glean.

We can choose to cultivate or subdue a thankful heart.

We can choose to see hard circumstances as they are and so grumble, growing angry or cold. Or, in humble trust and prayerful expectation, we can “give thanks in all circumstances,” (I Thessalonians 5:18) asking God to increase our trust and settle our hope in Him…even in the dark.

We can choose to see glory in the ordinary and thank God for it or continually long for the next big moment so much so that we miss the joy right before us.

We can choose to see the beauty in the ashes or the pain, knowing that, as we give thanks to God, we are choosing rest over restlessness; a willingness to sacrifice it all on the altar (even if it is minute by minute) for His glory.

Amidst it all, when the center of our hearts and our thankfulness is the very One who is the center of our true joy, the invading hope and delight of God Himself, we rest regardless of “what” is in our lives – sometimes slow and painfully and sometimes with great resolve.

But, as we give God thanks at all times and in all circumstances, we are, in essence, saying “I believe, Lord; help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24)

And, He will!

Give thanks to the LORD for He is good; His steadfast, covenant love – His hessed – is never ending, never failing! Psalm 106:1