We are halfway through January and my Christmas tree still stands.

There are those that will not understand…but it’s part tradition (my mom always kept ours up until the Super Bowl…when the Super Bowl was in January), but it’s also still so welcoming!

I love a live tree and, thankfully, the needles have remained fresh long beyond what I ever anticipated, a hint of pine still lingers in the air, and it still brings me joy to see it in its place.

For the most part, the ornaments are off, each one full of some memory of people, places, or events. Whether handmade or store bought, each one tells a story and is part of our story or of our children’s stories.

When I bring them down each year, I think about those times gone by and smiles trace my face. Even if some bring a hint of sadness because the person is no longer with us, I can’t help but also feel delight as I truly thank the Lord for each one and all of that and those which have made up my life from the beginning to now!

The lights remain, hung loosely in and through the branches, so another smile.

In the evenings, when the lights in the living room are low and the fireplace is crackling (or not), I sometimes just enjoy looking and remembering – not just about the years gone by but what was happening around this tree just a few short weeks ago when there was, at one time eight people, a dog and two cats (the animals tagged along with one of my sons and family), lots of laughter, squeals, sights, smells, and quiet (and not so quiet) conversations…and yes some little ones’ tears at times.

There were games and art projects, music and imagination, and the sweet aroma from requested food favorites to satisfy the taste buds of every person that entered our home!

And, best of all, the Golden Gift box – still under the tree – revealed the truth of the season to the littles specifically but as an intentional reminder to all of us.

Outside, even in the cold, there were walks to explore the neighborhood, digging in the dirt, chase and tag, throwing balls, interacting with our neighbors, riding bikes, and sliding on slides…mostly without argument or conflict.

But, in the quiet and still now, I treasure those memories of just fifteen days ago even as I enjoy a little more sleep!

It was, as I declared in the moment, beautiful chaos, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way!

For all the noise and a few toddler conflicts, the puppy that found the lake too appealing and ended up in it for a swim then up through the mud, the endless array of dirty dishes and lots and lots of cooking, it was family!

It was time!

It was as I hoped it would be!

Together!

Though spread out between three states now, everyone was here at some point and at one point all at once (except for one daughter in love), at least for 24 hours.

And it was beautiful!

I won’t forget!

So, as I look at the lights on the tree, twinkling as they might be – I see beauty!

I see the faces!

I think of the twinkling of the littles’ eyes, and it reflects back on my heart.

But it’s not just the memory of the people and the places that delights me.

When I see the tree and the empty spaces naturally spread throughout, I am reminded that our lives are like that tree and those branches, each one providing its own unique beauty and strength.

Among other things, those empty spaces remind me of those no longer with us or those who couldn’t be with us to celebrate in the same place.

They cause me to thank the Lord for those I love, both during this season of life and in other seasons of life as well.

Those empty spaces do bring some tears when I think of ones we love that the Lord has called home, even so recently. But it also reminds me to thank Him for the privilege and blessing of having those people in our lives – family and friends whose loss is felt so deeply – and yet, for those dear ones in Christ, they were most assuredly worshipping and celebrating before the very throne of God this Christmas in ways we can only imagine!

But the tree is also a reminder of truth – full and still full of life, still nourished by the water as we are nourished by the Living Water of the Word of God.

The lights remind me that Jesus is the light of the world!  Even in the dim light, the darkness is shattered.

“Again, Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life.’” (John 8:12)

The busyness of Christmas can cause that truth to be overshadowed, but it remains, and the lights, for me, are a constant reminder.

In Him, darkness cannot remain!

We celebrate His birth but remember that He was born as the fulfillment of a promise, the promise of God, born for a purpose: to redeem, to bring light to the darkness of our souls created by our sin and to defeat that darkness once and for all and in the daily surrender to the One who is bringing light into our dark places to heal and transform our lives!

He was born to take the punishment we deserve for our rebellion against God, and His resurrection defeated death.

Because of Jesus, my sin no longer separates me from the Father, and I can live in newness of life in light of this sure hope.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” (Hebrews 6:19)

He covers the “holes” and wounds of my life as well so I can stand secure and rest in His faithfulness.

The lights remind me that there is a wonder in walking with Jesus, in recognizing His hand in all of creation and every circumstance of my life, in acknowledging Him as loving Father and Almighty King!

This tree won’t be up too much longer but, while it is, I will enjoy the wonder!

While it is, I will remember to give thanks for all I do not deserve – “for His indescribable gift” of salvation (2 Corinthians 9:15) and for the people throughout my life who have brought me great joy and shaped me in a multitude of ways.

While it is, I will remember to pray for those who still grieve deeply – experiencing fresh waves of grief over the season and beyond but also fresh waves of mercy – His goodness experienced in the here and now, tears and smiles mingled.

And when it is gone and the living room is again returned to its normal “space,” I will remember!

I will not forget!

I will be still, knowing it is God Himself who has placed all those in my life that have created the quiet moments and the beautiful chaos…

And I will smile!