It was just a little voice singing as he was building his tower.
But the words rang in my ear as he quietly but emphatically sang,
“And He shall reign forever and ever.”
She was sitting in her car seat looking out the window at the cars passing by.
And as she watched, she sang with so much joy,
“Guide us! Guide us! Guide us, Lord!”
Many years ago, it was another little girl listening to her parents’ concerns over various life issues.
She was riding in the backseat, but she began softly then louder,
“I cast all my cares upon You! I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet. And anytime I don’t know what to do, I will cast all my cares upon You!”
I heard that little girl and the Lord used her in that moment and many times since as I recall that day to reset and refocus my gaze on my Savior.
And now, it is her two little ones above who regularly start singing while they play or ride in the car or do schoolwork and the Lord resets my heart and my head quite often, once again.
Don’t miss the whispers, the little voices, and sometimes the loud ones that bring Truth in the most ordinary moments!
“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” I Timothy 4:12
Softened by the sure hope of the love and faithfulness of God.
Tempered by the truth of His sovereign goodness in the midst of the terribly hard, even, at times, tragic.
The hard can be softened and the pain eased by the unexplainable sense of being held by the Lord even through tears.
Tears are a reality at times.
Sorrows like sea billows do roll.
Emotions are real.
But the Lord’s peace can defy all understanding.
The comfort of the Holy Spirit is real.
The tangible love of Jesus through His people carries the load.
The weightiness of life is tempered by the joy of the Lord, resting in the surety of His perfect sovereignty.
He reminds us there is more than what we see and what we feel though what we feel is real and our hearts may be troubled beyond what we think we can bear.
Tears may fall hard.
They will.
But HE is.
That sets our hearts to grieve but to grieve with hope, our Living Hope which is our confidence.
Indignant voices raised on either side – “I must be right.”
How easily are we manipulated by emotions…
While wisdom and truth are “crying out in the streets.”(Proverbs 1)
The feigned chase is on, but the disguise is ignorance.
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom…” (Psalm 111:10)
There is right and there is wrong.
There is truth and there is fiction.
But within those foundations, there is also room for humble dialog.
There is opportunity to speak and to truly listen.
There is a place where respect can flow even out of disagreement.
But when we want to speak before we pray and to be heard more than we want to listen and where there is no desire for wisdom and truth:
Pride and anger swell.
Relationships crumble.
And silence overtakes conversation.
“See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ.” Colossians 2:8
If we speak, we must guard against hearing ourselves talk “to be right” and first ask prayerfully, “Am I speaking truth and am I speaking it in such a way that honors the LORD regardless of the response?” followed by “Am I listening to what’s behind their words?”
By speaking the truth with kindness and in love, but without compromise, we will display the Living Hope in whom we rest and “we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Ephesians 4:1
We speak the truth because of love – love for the Lord and love for the person!
And if, in those conversations, we speak truth with love and kindness and it is not received well, is our response to be disgust and anger?
No.
It should be and must be continually the love of Christ that compels us to pray for the other or others and that desires their good and the glory of God!
“Grace, and peace be multiplied to you, in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” II Peter 1:2
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, ‘My Refuge and my Fortress, my God in whom I trust!” Psalm 91:1-2
There is rest…and there is a rest.
One is temporary, the other eternal.
We can find a temporary rest by taking a nap, getting away to a quiet place, finding something that we enjoy outside of work and busyness. All of those can be so good and necessary.
I love getting away to places like the mountains or the beach, but I often find a sweet respite simply in my backyard – hearing the birds, seeing the wild rabbit or two cautiously make their way in, feeling the gentle breezes or the quiet rain. But we all know it is temporary.
We get back to the “must dos” and “demands,” the “tyranny of the urgent,” and no matter how much we enjoy the daily tasks of life, we will eventually want another “rest.”
But the “rest” that is eternal can be found even in the “busyness” or the “hard” and allows us to find joy in the wonderful as well as the impossible days and seasons! It is found in relationship with the One who has promised rest for our souls when we have been redeemed and are His children! “Times of refreshing” come when we repent (turn away from self-rule) and turn to God Himself (Acts 3:19), allowing Him to order our steps and settle our souls
The Psalmist talks about the person who “dwells” in the shelter of the Most High; that person who settles his life under the Lordship of Christ, where he “lives and exists” in his actions and in the very being of his soul! And, when that is His “dwelling,” He will abide; yes, he will encamp and remain in that submitted heart and so be rooted and protected.
It is part of that perseverance with which the Holy Spirit equips us that gives us the ability to settle our lives in that “shelter” and there find rest, not just to get “back in the game,” as a dear friend says, but to walk secure even in the midst of the “game.”
As we intentionally set our gaze on the Most High God through His Word, staying in and standing on that which He has given us to “teach, rebuke, correct, and train in righteousness,” His Spirit strengthens us and “equips for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
As we cry out to Him to give us the ability to focus our sight and to stay and stand, asking Him for that equipping, He meets His children and shelters us from the stormy blasts. He may not take us out of the tempests, but He will settle our soul moment by moment.
As we intentionally remember His faithfulness in the past – yes, even recounting those instances to ourselves and others – and hold firmly to His promised faithfulness in the present and the future, we stand secure.
As we lock arms with other believers, each taking the other boldly to the throne of grace when we are weary or when we long for a chorus of voices to be petitioning our Father, we strengthen one another against those who would tell us we will never have victory over sadness or sin.
Of course, we can choose the opposite of rest; we can choose to make ourselves “lord of our own lives” and live according to our own rules and the emotions that direct our decisions but leave us on shifting sand.
We can hold on to bitterness and unforgiveness for ourselves and others and find our souls are scarred and our relationship with the Lord hindered.
But why do we think we would find “rest” in defying the God of all Creation, whose love and justice and mercy are inextricably tied together to reign and rule and give us sure hope.
Why would we choose turmoil when He has given us all we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3) and peace for the one whose mind is stayed on Him. (Isaiah 26:3)
Why would we choose to follow our deceitful hearts that lie to us when we can follow Jesus, the Way, the Truth, and the Life and accept the free gift of grace – that Jesus willingly gave his life and was resurrected as payment for our rebellion – and turn from our self-rule and self-worship, throwing off “everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles?” (Hebrews 12:1)
Why would we choose the restlessness that comes from following the world rather than the rest that comes from trusting the One who created and established the world and enables us to walk secure even over stony ground.
Though it is hard business at times, truly even the difficult moments ultimately work together for good (even when they are not in themselves “good”) by our faithful God for “those who do love Him and are called according to HIS purpose” not our own. (Romans 8:28)
We will weep, but He wipes our tears.
We will be wounded, but He binds our wounds and allows the scars to be “standing stones,” reminders of His faithfulness.
We will at times feel shaken, but, as we receive Christ Jesus the Lord and “so walk in Him,” we will be “rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith.” (Colossians 2:6-7) He will be our rock and our salvation, our fortress, so we will never be shaken! (Psalm 62:2)
We will be assaulted by those seeking, sometimes quite subtly, to whisper as the serpent did in the Garden, “Did God really say?” in an attempt to dissuade us from our sure hope, and so, our rest. But we can and must stand on that which will never be shaken and will never change, His Word.
“See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.” (Colossians 2:8)
“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” (2 Corinthians 2:5)
This world is not our home, but we travel it with joy even if sometimes through tears.
This world is not our home, but we travel it delighting in the goodness of our God and His faithfulness.
This world is not our home, but we travel it by setting our hope fully on the grace of God, on Jesus the Author and Perfector of our faith, so that we can run the race set before us with perseverance and endurance, not begrudgingly, but with great expectation and delight.
And when we need that “rest” from the race, we can find it by calling to Him, finding any little spot or wide open space, with open Bible and open heart, and He will give you rest as you eagerly seek Him alone to establish your life and settle your soul even in the most tumultuous times.
“Call to Me, I will answer you and tell you wonderful things that you did not know!” Jeremiah 33:3
“…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart!…Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe…” Hebrews 12:1-3, 28
It’s fun, and the occasional “Surprise” brings shrieks of laughter and joy.
I love to see their eyes light up when they are “found” or they “find” me!
A child’s game brings smiles.
But hide and seek in real life tears down.
Hide and seek between husband and wife, child and parent, friend and friend destroys.
Maybe the excuse is that we are trying to protect the other from hurt.
Maybe the rationale is that it won’t hurt to keep another in the dark.
Maybe the justification is that there is no need for them to know.
Maybe it is fear blended with pride – not wanting another to see our flaws, our struggles.
Be it child and parent, friend to friend, and especially husband and wife, those actions are actually intended to protect the one hiding, to allow him or her to continue a pattern that may be harmful to themselves or to one who “seeks” to know the other.
But we were never meant to play the game of hide and seek in real life, to play the role of deceiver, behind an impenetrable wall built to keep anyone who might stand in the way of our favorite “hiding place” – be it a present activity or a past shame.
Children are a gift from the Lord; parents a guard and protection when their vision is cloudy.
True friends desire our best and will speak the truth in love even when we don’t want to hear it. They will stand by us in the dark night of the soul even if we shut them out.
Likewise and even more so, husbands and wives are to be our delights but also our greatest warriors when we are blinded; those who love us more than any other and who are most deeply affected when we play the game and can be even more grieved when we retreat or when we respond in anger at their concern.
God didn’t call us to life in the shadows.
He didn’t call us to walk alone.
He didn’t call us to anonymity.
He called us to freedom and repentance that “times of refreshing might come.” (Acts 3:20)
He called us to walk in newness of life. (Colossians 3:10)
He called us to die to self and stop hiding. (Colossians 3:9)
He called us to walk together as “children of light” not darkness (Ephesians 5:8), encouraging, exhorting, and forgiving one another.
And, out of His great love for us, if we choose to hide, He will bring light into our concealed places for our greatest good.
We were never meant to isolate, to hide.
When we do, we often miss the blessing of being loved through our weakness.
We lose having one who will mutually encourage and provide the iron sharpening iron relationship we were created to enjoy and that which God intends if we are truly to grow in grace.
Hide and seek with children brings laughter and joy, delight.
Hide and seek with people we love in life brings nothing but sadness and breaks relationship.
There is freedom and joy in knowing and being known. It’s hard at times but so worth it.
Let’s put aside childish games and enjoy the people God put in our lives as gifts.
Let’s recognize and trust their love for us.
Let’s start talking and listening to one another instead of hiding!
Throughout the years, the Lord has brought people into our lives who make an impact and who we consider family, even other sons and daughters.
One of those is the young man who shared something he had written with us yesterday and said he would be happy if I would share it on my blog. So thank you, Larkin. Keep walking in truth! And, to my readers, be encouraged as you consider Larkin’s words.
What do you see from a broken soul?
Do you ever wonder what is missing in the mold?
Do you see it all fallen in a little pile?
Oh don’t worry, they say- you will heal in a little while
Listen to the One inside your heart.
Nothing will ever tear you two apart.
You go through the same process in a day
Hoping that the pain will soon fade away.
Always remember to give it the best you can;
Looking back at the cheers given to you by your fans.
Knowing that the Truth will always be there.
A true friend will never leave you because you have power in prayer.
God sees our hearts inside and out;
But in Him we have not a single doubt.
Whether you fall or make it,
This is the true meaning of being loved and naked.
The Great Healer will return one of these days.
He will clothe the righteous and glory to His name we will praise.
Grieving deeply with those who grieve deeper still.
Feeling the pain of their loss while I cannot actually know their pain.
Wanting to help but knowing the greatest help is sometimes silence.
Just being present, available.
Always prayer.
Bringing them before the Father’s throne of grace continually.
Knowing there is One who can and will carry.
Knowing that God, who is “an ever present help in time of trouble“ (Psalm 46:1) and who is “near to the brokenhearted, saving those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18 ), is able to comfort in ways unimaginable.
Waves of grief.
Waves of mercy.
Waves of comfort unexplained.
They may roll one after the other and begin again.
But the One who cannot and will not be shaken will steady the trembling heart, wipe the tears as they flow, and will not allow His child to be taken under.
Our sure hope is the steadiness of Christ, our joy in the midst of tears.
“Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in you.” Psalm 33:21
“Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love…” Psalm 90:14a
In the presence of God, speaking and being with the Righteous and Holy One, my tender Redeemer who has called me by name.
Prayer.
A command and a privilege.
A high calling.
An awesome responsibility.
While we can come as we are, He hears us not because of who we are but because of who He is and through His Son.
To come haphazardly is foolish.
To come with arrogance is dangerous.
To come casually and lazily is a complete dishonor to Him and a loss to us.
We come to the very throne room of the Almighty.
We come into the presence of our Creator, Savior, Redeemer, King.
We would walk into the presence of a honored human with some fear and trembling.
Yet too often we come to our Father and King with little more than a passing acknowledgement of His worthiness, little fear and, too often, pride exhibited in so many ways.
But Isaiah understood.
When God allowed Isaiah to see Him on His throne, high and lifted up, being praised as “Holy, Holy, Holy,” Isaiah wasn’t casual.
Isaiah wasn’t flippant about his sin and his unworthiness.
Isaiah was undone!
“Woe to me, for I am ruined!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I live among a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of armies.” Isaiah 6:5
As we approach Him in prayer or walk along the way, we, who are His, are to come with confidence but not with arrogance that makes light of our sin and is comfortable with it in the presence of the Holy One, our Creator and Savior!
We are to come as children loved by our Father but, in humility, desiring to honor and please Him out of our own growing love for Him.
Yes, He is tender and carries His children in our weakness.
Yes, He wants us to come with our concerns, our fears, and our hard places.
Yes, He sees our tears and wipes them.
Yes, we can boldly come before the throne of grace because of Jesus.
But we must never forget who He is.
And who we are.
Sinners in need of His redemption.
We come into His presence because of Jesus.
We come into His presence truly undone by our unworthiness and desiring to be renewed and made new, more like Him, more each day.
He says come before Him with thanks and then make our requests of Him.
We fear Him, are in awe of Him, so we ought to fear that which is in our lives by our own volition.
We should fear that which we allow in our lives, to permeate our eyes, ears, thoughts and imaginations.
We should fear the bitter root we allow to grow and rot our souls.
We should fear the anger we allow to smolder in our hearts.
“…the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:20
All these and more hinder our prayers.
“If I cherish sin in my heart, The Lord will not hear…” Psalm 66:18
And we are called, instead, to seek what is right and true and honorable, what glorifies Him, in our hearts and minds, so letting it pour out of our lives.
We are called to seek Him!
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.” Matthew 5:6
That’s not legalistic.
That’s a loving response to who He is and what He has done through His Son.
That’s satisfaction and delight!
In that hunger and thirst for righteousness,
In that heart of true thanks for who He is and all He has done,
He calls us to a humble persistence in prayer, watchful. (Colossians 4:2)
He calls us to boldly approach His throne of grace that we might find help in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)
He calls us to come expectantly as His little child and, with thanksgiving, make our requests known to Him. (Psalm 5:3, Philippians 4:6)
He calls us to faithfully trust Him even when trembling.
We can ask persistently.
We can ask boldly.
We can bring our requests expectantly.
We can trust by faith.
It’s not arrogant to be specific in prayer, to know that God is more than able and so we ask.
Then He calls us to wait.
And we rest in Him.
In Who He is.
Regardless of the answer.
For our faithful God hears every word.
He sees every tear.
He knows our every sigh.
And He holds us, even carries us protectively.
His comfort is beyond our understanding.
He is good.
He will answer according to His knowledge and wisdom.
If that answer is all we hoped it would be, we will praise Him and give Him thanks with a glad heart and joy overflowing.
If that answer is far from our desires and is part of a hard providence from the hand of the God who loves His children immeasurably more than we can understand, we will praise Him and give Him thanks even through tears.
We will praise Him for Who He is even if the circumstances are heavy.
And He will remain faithful.
The Lord is good.
Even in tears.
“In the morning, LORD, You hear my voice. In the morning, I lay my requests before You and wait with expectation!” Psalm 5:3
“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in Him.” Lamentations 3:21-24
Sometimes the effects of the Fall on our bodies are deafening.
Sometimes the choices of others weary us.
Sometimes we are blinded by fear or disappointment.
Sometimes we are blinded to truth and goodness by our sin.
Sometimes we are deceived into thinking we have to hide, we must walk a road alone, we could never invite even our safest person into our hard place.
It’s all about the gaze.
Will we give into the spiral of fear that threatens to undo us, even when the circumstances are rightly fearful?
That is sure to increase the dread.
Will we turn inward and see only with our physical eyes?
That is sure to deceive.
Will we turn inward and see only our hurt and so shift blame off of us and on to anyone else for anything we have done or anything we do not have, onto whomever we care to thrust it?
That is sure to discourage and embitter.
Will we focus on our discontentment in any area of life which always bleeds over into other areas, leading to rationalizing all manner of choices that leave us wounded and wounding others.
That will lead to a hunger that is never satisfied.
Or will we:
“Turn our eyes upon Jesus; look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.”
“Jesus, to You we lift our eyes. Jesus, our glory and our prize. We adore You, behold You, our glory and our prize. O Jesus, we turn our eyes to You.” *
With eyes fixed on our Savior, in gratitude and in awe, we can shift our gaze from the things that weigh us, that ensnare us, that we believe are hopeless to the Truth, to where a change of affections, attitude, and gaze is possible in Christ and for Christ.
With eyes fixed on Jesus, we press in.
With eyes fixed on Jesus, if even through tears and trembling, we lean in.
We reset.
We shift our gaze and our gazes intentionally.
We see with new eyes.
We think with a renewed mind.
We learn to delight in His good gifts yet hold them loosely.
That song from Psalm 3:3 so often comes to my lips out of the overflow of my heart at times when I am hurting either for another or for circumstances in my own life.
When my cry is from the truth of Romans 8:26, “Holy Spirit, intercede for me with longings and groanings I can’t express,” He is the One who lifts my head to take my eyes off circumstances, off myself and see Him.
“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121:1-2
That is rest.
This is quieting fear.
That is ceasing from striving.
That is silencing the noise to hear the stillness.
So that…
“In peace I will both lie down and sleep…” (Psalm 4:6)
And, in the morning, He will hear my voice and I will wait in expectation!’(Psalm 5:3)
As I write this, it’s late night and I can’t sleep.
I sip my hot tea trying to quiet a cough that persists.
Yet I smile.
All is quiet.
But it wasn’t earlier.
The chatter.
The laughter.
The quiet conversations.
I am thankful.
I got the biggest hug from a little four year old.
A phone call from a son too far away.
A smile and a text from my other son.
And the presence of my “baby” girl and her family.
We cooked.
We ate.
We laughed.
We were together.
We remembered those not with us, noticed their empty spaces at the table and around the living room, and wished they were here.
I missed the extra laughter and the noise of three more little ones whose hugs I await!
And we prayed with some tears for those wrestling with illness and heartache at this time and on this day.
In it all, we gave thanks to the Lord for who He is, all He has done, and all we have been given.
TODA!
I heard that Hebrew word described in a podcast this week: Give thanks!*
It’s neither passive nor out of duty; it’s an action word that rightly flows out of the attitude of our hearts and the recognition of God’s goodness.
It is tied to worship – a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving to bring glory to God and encouragement to others!
It is good to give thanks to the LORD!
In the blessings and the burdens.
In the joy and the tears.
In the ease and the struggles.
In the comfortable and the uncomfortable.
In the very good and the incredibly stifling moments.
“Give thanks to the LORD for HE is good; His steadfast love endures forever!” (Psalm 136)
It isn’t that circumstances always feel “thanks-worthy;” and many are simply devastating as we walk this life in a fallen world full of beauty and hard.
People fail us.
Circumstances can be overwhelming.
Loss of various kinds is real.
The unknown and “what’s next” can be as difficult as what we see.
That is why we notice that God uses the phrase “sacrifice of praise” to Him.
It can feel like a gut-punch at times to praise Him, to thank Him in the midst of some places in life where our natural response would be anything but thanks!
We choose, sometimes with hands lifted feebly, to “offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge His Name.” (Hebrews 13:15)
He enables and we respond for our gratitude is rooted in the character of God Himself!
Yes, sometimes it feels like a harder sacrifice, a choice to honor the LORD in the midst, but it is a confession and an acknowledgment of who He is!
And my thank you is to lead me to living out that attitude and responding to others by whatever means they need not according to my comfort level or what I may “feel” like doing. But it will likely look different for every person we are called to love in action!
My rest is not in what I have, how I feel, who I am, or how relationships and circumstances are faring.
My rest is in the good God who is unchanging and true!
My rest takes root as I intentionally look for reasons to give thanks even in the shadows.
As redeemed children of God who rest in the finished work of Jesus Christ for us, we walk in the “now and not yet” as we await His glory to be revealed either as He returns or calls us home!
“Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we will be like Him, for we will see Him as He is!” I John 3:2
We are children of the King waiting with anticipation and sometimes with tears but always for His glory as we turn our eyes to Him and point with bold affirmation to the One who has redeemed us, called us by name, and in whose grace we now stand!
We may tremble but we stand.
We may feel any manner of hurt, but He holds us.
And we respond in thanks!
Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song on Thanksgiving Day that found he and his wife sick and so not with their family and a particular line stays with me!**
“If God is good and God is faithful, there is reason to be thankful!”
God is good.
God is faithful.
So, there is reason to give Him thanks!
Being thankful is a choice; giving up that sacrifice of praise is a response to His goodness.
As the youngest of our little ones likes to say, with arms wide open and a huge smile across his excited face when he has accomplished something he finds amazing: “TADA! Look what I have done!”
The goodness of God is amazing!
TADA!
Look what He has done!
So, then…
TODA!
Give God thanks!
“Come and see what God has done; He is awesome in His deeds toward the children of man. Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell you what He has done for my soul! Blessed be God for He has not…removed His steadfast love for me.” Psalm 66:5, 16, 20
“Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” 2 Corinthians 9:15
*Podcast: Culture Proof with Wil and Meeke Addison Episode 257, November 26, 2024
As I was rummaging through some old notebooks and journals, I found one from 1996 that caught my eye.
At that time our children were quite small.
Now each of them are married with families of their own so the challenge my husband made to us was not just for that time but for today and not just for us but for our children.
After a conversation following a small group study on marriage we were involved with at our church, my husband said, “We don’t ever need to keep anything from each other. No matter how hard it is and especially if there are things we might think we want to keep from each other, we need to make sure we keep our lives completely open to each other for the sake of our marriage.”
I remember that conversation.
He was right then and that is still true.
There is nothing that will weaken and/or destroy a marriage faster than deceit, strategic or outright lies, and hidden places.
There is nothing harder but more strengthening to a marriage than truth in and because of love.
It is true with other important relationships as well but none so critical as marriage.
But, with truth must come grace from both people; grace to receive truth and grace in telling it.
Tender mercies gifted to another make hard paths less harsh and conversations come with a safe place to land.
Not to bring condemnation and shame but to heal and strengthen!
Self-protection and defensiveness have no place in a “transparent marriage,” but it is in the hard truths and the dying to self that life together is experienced to the full; that delight grows in ways unexpected and that a true desire for one’s spouse deepens.
Why?
Because it is only then that marriage is being lived as God designed it and that was to be a gift to a man and a woman and a glory to Himself.
Indeed, we read in Ephesians 5:29-32 about the mystery of marriage which is a picture of Christ and the Church.
Christ doesn’t allow us to hide; He opens the doors and sheds light in dark places as a call to freedom away from self-destructive choices to choices and attitudes that allow us to flourish.
Christ doesn’t allow us to be satisfied in “selfish ambitions and vain conceits.” He calls us to die to self and live for Him which then leaves us with a desire to love another faithfully and well.
Christ doesn’t leave us in the shadows to do whatever “feels” right. He convicts and reveals those places that “seem right” but that are anything but true with the intention of doing us and our spouse good not harm.
He confronts us not to shame us but to make us whole, to grow us, to give us “life that is truly life.”
And that should be our aim in revealing truths about ourselves and speaking truth to our spouse; in allowing the other to “see into” each of us and trust that that love will hold the marriage fast in the easy and the hard as Christ holds us fast!
Christ loved the Church so much that He died for her, for those who are His own.
As husbands are to love their wives in this manner, wives are to respect their husbands.
And both are to do the job of loving and respecting the other.
It’s easy to throw that out in a wedding ceremony or in a sermon or a teaching opportunity on marriage; it sounds so good.
It is, however, anything but easy much of the time.
We are self-protecting creatures that want to make sure our hearts are safe.
We are creatures who love ourselves and convince ourselves that anything our hearts tell us is okay is, in fact, just fine even if God has said otherwise and even if we recognize how destructive it would be to us if we were on the other end.
But to do as Jesus has done for His body, the Church, means shedding our “blood” in dying to self and that is a choice we can make in the power of the Holy Spirit, and one we must make it if we are to reflect that beautiful picture of Christ and the Church and experience the joy that is possible in a marriage that says, “I die to myself out of my love for Christ and for you.”
That’s the beauty of a life lived for someone else!
That’s the delight of a life and a marriage lived for God’s glory!
There is a wonder to the grace of God if we have eyes to see and a willingness to embrace it for what it actually is and Who He is.
R.C. Sproul once wrote about our complacency in light of God’s grace and in the face of His holiness, which he described as “cosmic treason.”
“What happens is we get accustomed to God’s grace. At first, we’re amazed by it. The second time, we’re not quite so much surprised. By the third or fourth time (or as we continue in rationalized habitual sin), we begin to expect it. We then assume it. Then we demand it and we’re angry if we don’t get it. (Especially if God disciplines us with exposure so that another speaks the truth in love into it or there is a direct negative consequence of our actions).
The greatest distortion in our thinking is that God owes us mercy; that God is somehow obligated to be gracious to us. Because grace, by its very definition, is voluntary. God is not required to be merciful. He reserves the right to be merciful to whom He will be merciful and gracious to whom He will be gracious.
You can plead for grace; you can beg for mercy; but you can never ever demand it.
Justice may be required but never ever mercy.” (R.C. Sproul, Cosmic Treason)*
The wonder of redemption.
The awe of the Son of God taking on the form of man and receiving my deserved punishment, giving me freedom to live in Truth, obedience and joy out of love and gratitude to God.
Lord, never let me lose that wonder.
Never let me become complacent with that gift or my position in Christ.
Never let me settle for “acceptable sins,” rationalized disobedience, or comfortable self-satisfaction.
Never let me gratify my desires at the expense of another and the dishonoring of God.
Never let me seek to do life and take on temptation apart from your Spirit and without another to challenge and cheer me on.
Never let me continue to live and walk in my own understanding, choosing those things Christ died to forgive and from which He intends to free us.
Never let me “grow weary and lose heart” knowing you have promised that we will “reap a harvest if we don’t give up.” (Galatians 6:9)
Never let me boast except in the cross of Christ.
Never let me forget and live in light of how great a salvation!
“Not until we take God seriously will we ever take sin seriously!” (R.C. Sproul)
And not until we take our sin seriously will we truly recognize the weightiness of His grace and increase in our love for and fear of God Himself!
We are great sinners, but Christ is the greater Savior! (adapted from John Newton, Amazing Grace)
Be amazed by His grace along with me and run in wonder and freedom!
“The anger of man does not bring about the righteousness of God.” (James 1:20).
Rather, it exacerbates the unrighteousness of men and women, stirs up more discord, and allows for the enemy of our souls to divide and disrupt where God wants to bring His light, life, truth, and redemption, bringing people to repentance and salvation, restoring wounded relationships and making them strong.
The anger of man doesn’t seek or bring understanding.
It doesn’t allow for healthy and healing dialog.
It doesn’t allow for truth to be spoken or heard in love.
It doesn’t allow for grace.
It opens the door for confusion and hearing what might not have been said or intended.
It creates silence where God desires for people to come boldly and with confidence to His throne of grace individually and together to find help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)
It creates a chasm, a wall that feels impenetrable because the enemy of our souls convinces us that we have a right to our smoldering resentment.
It allows for hurt feelings and defensive words from everyone.
Without intentional care, while relying on the power of Holy Spirit, one person’s anger feeds another’s by way of defense rather than together seeking understanding and forgiveness.
It breaks hearts.
It creates bitter roots.
It brings nothing but regret.
It is nothing less than spiritual warfare that can only be waged well with God-provided defense and offense and the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit that resets the chaos and causes both parties to think with the mind of Christ.
His indwelling power enables hurt people to come together, even in very difficult emotions, to let God do a work only He can do; to take what the enemy means for evil and let God do the most beautiful work of restoration out of the ashes.
His indwelling power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9) and part of our weakness is indeed the anger that may come from harsh words, bitter roots, bruised relationships, or self-protection.
His indwelling power enables gentle answers and humble hearts even in the midst of hard truths, never holding back what needs to be said but doing it and receiving it with an eye to eternity and a rest in the One who Himself forgave and forgives our own sin against Him.
His indwelling power enables us to die to ourselves and love well – to be patient and kind, to not dishonor another, to not be self-seeking or easily angered, to rejoice in truth, to protect, hope, trust and persevere. (I Corinthians 13)
His indwelling power enables us to hide from God and each other no more.
His indwelling power enables us to heal and be transformed and restored.
His indwelling power decimates our little kingdoms and allows us to forgive and be forgiven for the benefit of the true King and His everlasting kingdom and for our joy.
His indwelling power calls us and enables us to respond with humility.
And humility over hostility and a gentle answer over wrath honors God, begins ro settle our storms, and brings true peace and restoration with others.
“Humility is the fear of the LORD” and “comes before honor.” (Proverbs 22:4)
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
“Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2
“He alone is my Rock and my salvation; He is my fortress – I will not be greatly shaken.” (Psalm 61:2)
Sometimes I feel shaken.
Troubled.
Unsteady.
Sometimes it is by news that is frightening or by news that has consequences for me or ones I love.
Sometimes it is by the actions of another that rock my world.
Sometimes it is great loss.
Those are realities not perceptions.
But sometimes it is simply the unknown that looms large in my heart and mind.
Yet how I choose to respond is a greater reality.
People will let us down. We can shed tears and cry out to the God who knows and who will never fail us!
We can still love them, and pray for them as they live out of whatever place led them to the hurtful words or actions.
Circumstances can be scary and overwhelming, even devastating at times. We can cry out to the God who sees as we pour out our fears and deep sadness.
He is ever with His children and we are not alone.
Morning and night.
“In the morning, O LORD, You hear my voice; at daybreak I lay my plea before You and wait in expectation.” (Psalm 5:3)
“…theLORD has heard the sound of my weeping. The LORD has heard my plea…” (Psalm 6:8-9)
And we can give thanks even when the glimmer of something for which to give thanks is small.
It’s amazing how the Lord will increase our strength and that the seed of a thankful heart will take root and blossom into a steadiness even in the shaking.
He will give us eyes to see more of Himself even as we feel alone.
He will carry us when our steps are unsteady.
He will convict us of our own sin that we might experience true sorrow for it that leads to putting off that which is contrary to His character and putting on Truth in every aspect of our being.
He will, by His grace, allow us to express the very real emotions of hard places; then He will wipe our tears and remind us to rest…in Him.
And He will give us the faith to trust when we cannot see beyond the moment.
Recently I read through Job and was reminded again of his faithfulness in the midst of great turmoil.
“The Lord gives and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21)
In the midst of unimaginable loss, He honors the Lord and praises His Name!
As life circumstances piled on, his emotions grew more raw and the weariness behind his questions grew more evident.
God allowed the questions for a time then spoke “out of the whirlwind,” reminding him Who He is with questions of His own.
In the past I have been struck by the awesomeness of our God as I read those closing chapters – the might and majesty of our Creator and Sovereign King in full display! I was no less so this time.
Yet, as I read in this moment, I saw both the mighty declarations by way of inquiry but also the kindness in the rebuke of those same questions and the tender reminder that this same mighty God is also the Loving Father who is our strong Deliverer and Comforter; our Helper in the midst!
We must not make light of Him or minimize His might or His mercy nor should we miss His tender kindness.
This life is and will be hard.
Jesus told us so: “In this world you will have trouble.” (John 16:33)
But God’s response to Job is the same as Jesus’.
Take heart!
Don’t be shaken!
“Who is this who obscures My counsel by words without knowledge?” (Job 38:2)
And through this question to Job, He declares what is true to Job and to those of us yet unborn in that day!
For it is Truth that doesn’t change!
Through all creation and written on our own hearts is the reality of His reminders to Job and to us.
I AM God; there is no other!
I AM Sovereign!
I AM Creator!
And I AM your Redeemer!
“I AM your refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)
The Father and the Son are still on the throne!
Holy Spirit is still comforting us and interceding for us.
He is mighty and kind; awesome and full of steadfast love!
He has purpose in our pain if we are His redeemed children, called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28-29)
He intends that we be conformed to the likeness of His Son.
And that is good, even a great joy!
We don’t like pain; who does?
We don’t like the sting of rejection.
We don’t like seeing the bodies of those we love wracked with pain and disease.
We don’t like watching those we love wounded by their sins or the sins of others.
We don’t like seeing our own sin hinder us and those we love.
We don’t like our worlds turned upside down by deception.
We don’t like experiencing life in a fallen world where things aren’t always as we would like them.
Many of those expectations are holy ones because they are rooted in the truth of how God designed His world and His people.
One day, in eternity, those expectations will be a reality.
In the meantime, we walk with feet of clay in a world that is shaking and the only expectation that we can fully rely upon is in our God, that He never changes and is our “ever present help!”
We will experience physical pain.
We will feel the sting of relational wounds.
We will experience loss.
We will know material needs.
We will experience the natural consequences or His loving correction when we seek to do life on our terms not His.
We will grow weary.
But our God strengthens and steadies the steps of His children.
Those whom He has redeemed, He makes secure and even carries.
Though at times He may need to rebuke us and correct us, He will draw us near and teach us out of His great love.
Though at times our loss will be greater than we think we can bear, we do not walk alone.
“We have these treasures in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4:7-9
His Word is replete with the reminder that He is our Refuge, our Protector, and our Strength. He IS ever present in times of trouble.
We acknowledge our emotions and take them to Him.
“WHEN I am afraid, I will trust in You, in God whose word I praise!” (Psalm 56:3)
At times, I feel the weariness of this world.
I feel sad.
I feel afraid.
I feel unsteady.
Regardless of the times that unsettle my soul, there is a greater reality.
He is!
And because He is, I am not greatly shaken.
We are not.
I will choose to wait on Him regardless of what I see, what I know, or how I feel.
He is worthy!
I encourage you to read Job 36-42 and ask Him to show you the reality of who He is then read the Gospel of John to hear of the tender mercy of this same God to His created ones born in rebellion.
Be humbled and found in Him that you might have true rest!
I encourage you to seek Him while He may be found.
He is mighty, but He is also merciful.
He is Redeemer!
Ask Him to forgive you and give you new life through Jesus that your heart might be set at rest, both now and for eternity!
“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe…” (Hebrews 12:28)
I want to grow in the grace and knowledge of my Savior, Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18) and delight in that!
I want to grow in faithfulness, not just increasing in knowledge without it changing me!
I want to desire more of You and less of me that my joy may be complete, and your glory may be seen! (John 15:11)
I want my sinful selfish desires to decrease as You change my affections to line up with Yours.
I want to decrease in the eyes of others that God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit may increase and be seen through my life and my choices – seen and unseen.
I want to fear You, Lord, and live in such a way that You might say of me in this day and in eternity, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter My rest.”
I want to rest in what is true and not be tossed by the enemy’s lies that I recognize in some areas and have to battle in places where my own temptations must be surrendered and defeated by the power of Christ in me.
I want You to show me those things in my life that hinder a faithful walk with You and others; even those things that may be “permissible but not beneficial” (I Corinthians 10:23) or good and true things that I have made “ultimate things,” and so, idols. Then help me to open my hands and release them with joy!
I want to stand firm, bold and courageous, not seeking the applause of man but the affirmation of my Savior.
I want to honor the very One who endured the wrath of and separation from God the Father that I deserve, who bore the pain of the emotional taunts and the physical pain on my behalf, who gloriously, through His power, was raised to life defeating the death I deserve.
“I want less of me and more of You, Lord.”
“I want to want what You want, Father!”
“I want.”
Though the phrase begins with “I,” these are affirmations of submitting who I am to the Sovereign God of all, of intentionally saying “I am Yours, Lord and desire these things and more because they align what You have made known to us through Your Word!”
I submit my “I wants” to You!
These are affirmations that recognize Your authority in my life to say what is good, right, and true, honoring to You, Lord and, conversely, purposefully saying, “Take out, if need be by force, whatever does not submit to Your reign over me.”
I will never be perfect this side of eternity, but God calls me – HIS child – to PURSUE holiness, righteousness and peace.
He calls me – HIS child – to DELIGHT in Him and the good fruit of a redeemed life rather than returning to those things and those ways which He called me out of and in which I once walked in darkness before He called me into His marvelous light! (I Peter 2:9)
He calls me – HIS child – as He originally called me away from those things that make me disobedient and dishonoring, discontent and fearful, prideful and unsteady, unfaithful and lacking joy and to that pleasure that comes from purposefully reading and letting His Word dwell richly in me (Colossians 3:16) so that in all ways, with a heart of thanks regardless of circumstances, I may reflect Him well – be that where all can see or in the secret places only the Lord sees!
May I and all God’s people never seek to limit His transforming grace, never make light of what He is able to do in us in regards to standing against or fleeing sin, because He who has called us is faithful and He will not call us out of and to anything He, by His Spirit, will not equip us to do and be for the honor of His Name and the strength of His people!
To the glory of His Name and the increase of His Kingdom!
I pray, continuously, for me and those I love that we will increasingly grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ, putting aside childish selfish choices, those affections that make light of His saving grace, desiring Him and what He desires more and more, living in light of His glory and purposes not my own.
Oh, the richness of His Word and how I desire to grow in my hunger to pursue this more and more and that, as He does His good work, it will be evident to those I love and those I encounter for HIS glory alone!
No, never perfect this side of eternity, but I long to delight in and honor Him and pursue what He has called me to pursue and with which, by His mercy and grace, He has equipped me for the race, regardless of its length!
THIS IS JOY!
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His owna glory and excellence. Through these He has given us His precious and magnificent promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, now that you have escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
For this very reason, make every effort (by the power of His Spirit in His redeemed children) to add to your faith virtue; and to virtue, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities and continue to grow in them, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever lacks these traits is nearsighted to the point of blindness, having forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
Therefore, brothers, strive to make your calling and election sure (to be assured of it through the evidence of this fruit). For if you practice these things, you will never stumble…” (2 Peter 1:3-10)
“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11
“I had heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eyes see You…” Job 42:5
Lord God!
You alone are good!
Your ways are right!
Your ways are perfect!
Mine are often self-focused and seeking my comfort and the comfort of those I love.
My words and actions, even well-meaning, often do not reflect You well.
I grow weary yet You renew my strength like the eagle!
I can grow fearful yet You remind me to be still and know that You are God.
“You desire truth (and so, faithfulness) in my inner being.” (Psalm 51:6)
“You make known to me the path of life;in Your presence there is fullness of joy…” Psalm 16:11
And yet…
Like Job’s friends, do I sometimes speak what is true but not what is right in the moment?
Do I lean on my own understanding even as I desire to fully trust You?
Do I filter all my thoughts, words, and actions through what You have spoken or do I seek to justify the attitude of my heart because of my status as a sinner rather than respond and repent of being a petulant child as a redeemed and actively being transformed child of the living God?
Do I sometimes grow weary of doing good when my heart and my flesh grow weak?
Do I sometimes grow restless in my waiting at times?
Do I sometimes intentionally or unintentionally “walk in the counsel of the wicked” and “sit in the seat of scoffers” (Psalm 1) as a result of “freedom” rather than discern what is “right and good and true” according to Your Word and so make my footsteps unsteady and grow in restlessness?
Lord, establish me!
Cleanse me moment by moment.
Renew my heart and mind.
Cause me to delight in Your Word and in following Your Word, even those places where You confront my stubborn heart and rationalizations of sin!
Stop the musings of my mind, the attitudes of my heart, the overflow of my words, and the ways I run ahead of the Truth in arrogance.
Yes, stop me in my moments of weakness and, in Your great love, mercy, and tenderness, bring conviction to bear on my soul!
Give me the eyes and heart to hear, see, and respond in humility, turning back to being submitted to what YOU say is true rather than how I can so easily twist truth to fit my desires and plans!
Cause Your Word to direct my words, actions, and attitudes for Your glory, my good, and the good of those in my life.
As You give good gifts for my delight, let me rejoice in the Giver more than the reward!
Fill me with You for I don’t want to fill my heart and mind or my life with lesser things that will never satisfy!
Teach me Your truth.
Apply Your truth to my life.
Make me steadfast for You!
Your ways are right!
Your ways are perfect!
You are good!
You are my delight!
In You there is great joy!
Let my life reflect this!
“May the words of mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to You, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer!” Psalm 19:14
“Make Your ways known to me, Lord; teach me Your paths!” Psalm 25:4
There are times it feels so elusive and, for those in the midst of deep grief, even more so.
But in those difficult moments in my life and yours, we must, even if trembling, intentionally choose that which is not felt: HIS joy.
For those experiencing a gaping loss, the only way to experience joy is choosing to rest in Christ and lean on His strength; a choosing that can feel like a raging battle.
The longing for that which has been lost in any way may not change, but our ability to be comforted and strengthened by Holy Spirit in that moment cannot be denied.
Joy may be remembering with tears; yet, in those tears, giving thanks to the Lord for the sweetness of those moments that make up our memories.
Joy may simply be one step in front of the other; doing “the next thing.”
Joy may be intentionally choosing to forgive and pray for the one or ones who have hurt us.
Joy may be clinging to specific truths and promises in His Word and singing out songs of praise and worship when we struggle to “remember” His goodness.
Joy may be giving our deepest concerns to the LORD and learning to rest in His sovereign ways and plans, knowing He is good even when “what is” doesn’t feel good.
For the joy of the Lord is not based on circumstances; it is not an emotional happiness.
Rather it is a steadfast hope, a true assurance, the ability to stand and settle on the surety of His presence and care.
It is the rest that comes from recognizing who He is and how He is able to comfort.
He is our Creator, our Sustainer, our Comforter, our Savior, the Rock on which we stand and in whose shadow we abide.
When friends fail us.
When we have failed.
When close family hurts us.
When the finality of death weighs so heavy.
When “sorrows like sea billows roll.”
In Christ, it is well.
In Christ, it is His joy that brings us strength.
It is His joy that helps us forgive and pray for those who wound our hearts or break our bodies. .
It is His joy that helps us ask for and receive His forgiveness, putting off the old for newness of life.
It is His joy that enables us to not fear.
It is His joy that allows us to grieve deeply but with hope and assurance.
It is His people that He often uses to remind us of truth and help us experience that joy as we “encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called ‘Today.'” (Hebrews 3:13)
And, we can “set our eyes on Jesus, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross,” * as we endure any level of sadness or wound in great anticipation of our soon and coming King.
We can, in Christ, live in that steadfast hope, amidst any tears but also experience it more deeply in the midst of sweet times of delight!
And we can settle into that perfect joy and rest that cannot be shaken.
For truly, the joy of the LORD is the strength of those who trust Him with all of life regardless of our feelings.””
“Those who look to Him are radiant with joy…” (Psalm 34:5, BSB)
If I can pray for you in any way, I would count it a privilege and a joy, to “encourage you… while it is still called ‘Today.'”
“…the joy of the LORD is your strength!” Nehemiah 8:10
“But none of these things move me… so that I may finish my race with joy… to testify to the Gospel of the grace of God.” Acts 20:24
“I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul makes it’s boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad.
Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together!
I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all of my fears.”
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
Joy in My Journey 