Sometimes I listen well.
Sometimes God needs to get my attention.
Sometimes God shouts!
Today He shouted!
It wasn’t in anger. It wasn’t in chastisement. It was from the tender heart of my God Who sees, Who knows my weaknesses, Who knows my sometimes fearful heart but Who loves to pull me close, steady my heart, and remind me of Who He is and what is true.
In the wee hours of the morning, I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Fear. The things that were waging war on my mind are real, but they are not outside the hand of God; they are insurmountable only as I try to, in my mind and often actions, fix them or worry them into submission. But in the hands of the Redeemer, they are just instruments to chip away at my control, my self sufficiency and point me back to the true King, the true Salvation, the true Peace! He is doing HIS good work, not my own, in the each of them.
After what seemed like hours (and may have been), I asked the Lord to help me stop “thinking” so I could sleep; I eventually drifted off.
The morning light came and with it was evidence upon evidence that God heard my cries in the night. He listened to my cries, and He has been shouting all morning long, “I love you! I am not caught unaware! I am still on my throne and I am still making all things new! You may not see, but ‘Be still and know that I AM God!’”
Circumstances may not have changed in the world around me or in my world as I rose out of bed, but they are known and being sifted through the hands of our very good God And, even as I write this, I laugh and I cry tears of joy that my God is faithful in all things and loves to point His children to the truth again and again as a reminder!
In preparation for getting everyone off to their day, I headed to the kitchen. Before I had my first cup of coffee, God was already putting things in front of my eyes to strengthen my heart!
First, came a morning “tweet” over my phone from Kevin DeYoung, “To start the day without prayer is to suggest the devil is feeble, God is irrelevant, and we can handle things on our own.” After which God brought Psalm 5:3 to my mind, “In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.”
And again He had me recall, “I have set the LORD always before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16:8
That first cup in hand and waiting for my son to come down for work, another friend “tweeted.” “Say to those with fearful hearts, ‘Be strong, do not fear; your God will come … He will come to save you.’” Isaiah 35:4 I hurriedly grabbed my Bible and opened it to Isaiah 35 and read more. And before that, verse 3: “Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way” and THEN, “Say to those with fearful hearts, ‘Be strong, do not fear; your God will come!”
Feeling a little more refreshed and with a knowing smile on my face, I saw opened a devotion. No surprise…I was beginning to expect God was having “fun” with me that morning! Another grin. “Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord.” Exodus 14:13. I read on and couldn’t help the tears of joy that fell as I realized the Lord was holding me in His arms and saying, “Keep listening child; I’m speaking to you!”
“These words contain God’s command to the believer when he is… brought into difficulties. He cannot retreat; he cannot go forward; he is shut up on the right hand and on the left; what is he now to do? The Master’s word to him is, ‘Stand still.’… Despair whispers, ‘Lie down and die; give it all up.’ But God would have us put on…courage, and even in our worst times, rejoice in His love and faithfulness… Precipitancy cries, ‘Do something. Stir yourself. To stand still and wait, is sheer idleness.’ (It says) we must be doing something at once—we must do it so we think—instead of looking to the Lord, who will not only do something but will do everything….But Faith (in the One true God)…hears God say, ‘Stand still,’ and immovable as a rock, it stands. ‘Stand still’;—keep the posture of an upright man, ready for action, expecting further orders, cheerfully and patiently awaiting the directing voice; and it will not be long before God will say to you, as distinctly as Moses said it to the people of Israel, ‘Go forward.’” (Charles Spurgeon)
And, as if that were not enough, as I was pulling up that devotion to share in this blog, He continued to pour on the encouragement and challenge,
“So don’t lose heart. Have the same kind of confidence as the widow (in Luke 18). Pray with the confidence, not that precisely what you’re asking will be given, but that God will give what He knows is right. Perseverance is less about getting what we want, and more about believing that God hears us and will provide what we need — which is oftentimes something we have to grow into, especially when we ask, full of good intentions…God is never bothered when we pray by faith. Never. And perseverance is trusting this truth, as we keep asking for what’s right as far as we know, until God does what is right — either by giving us our desire or correcting it.” (Keep Praying that Prayer by Jonathan Parnell, Desiring God)
Coincidence? No, you see God has said that His Word “will not return to (Him) empty, but will accomplish what (He) desires and achieve the purpose for which (He) sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11) He also said in Jeremiah 33:3, “Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you wonderful things that you did not know!” And He has promised that when we call out to Him, He hears and responds. “I call on the Lord in my distress, and He answers me.” (Psalm 120:1)
So He sent a variety of people who had no idea how what they shared was going to be used but who were faithful to do so. Equally true, He has used the Word stored up in my heart that He alone can bring to my mind as I need it; His words repeated back to me, to encourage, strengthen, equip, and calm His child!
I honestly laid it out to Him that I knew I wasn’t battling those fears well but that I needed to hear His voice.
And as I stand in awe that the God of the universe who loved me enough to redeem me through the work of His Son on the cross would also choose to speak to my heart and steady my “feeble arms and weak knees,” He reminds me yet again, “Be still and know that I AM God; I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10)
And He takes me back to another time long ago when concerns weighed on my husband and I as we talked while driving around town with our two children at the time. From the back seat came a little voice. I can still hear our then three year old daughter singing “I cast all my cares upon You; I lay all of my burdens down at your feet. And any time I don’t know what to do, I will cast all my cares upon you.” It was His voice through hers then and now, a child singing faithfully with steadfast, solid truth from I Peter 5:7.
My confidence is in the fact that “He who began a good work in you (and me), will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6) He is isn’t weary of my wrestling. He isn’t shaking His head saying, “Do I have to remind you of My faithfulness again?” No, He is carrying me to completion, gathering me in His arms, and reminding me in a myriad of ways that He is faithful, that He hears when we call to Him, and that He answers even if our fainting hearts sometimes cannot or do not hear.
So I “go forward” even as I am praying that I will continue to learn to just “be still” and rest in Him rather than look at circumstances beyond my control.
The conclusions to the “details” of life that can cause my heart to tremble and grow weary may not be my timing or my ways, but my God is indeed making all things new, beautiful in His time and according to the riches of His grace; amazingly writing my story, with its twists and turns, within the greater story of His redemption from creation to His return.